So I didn't get the ebay bid.

But I don't mind. I felt like myself for the first time in such a very long time. Why, you say? Once upon a time, I took risks. It wasn't just impulse control issues. I saw something, evaluated the situation & did what I wanted. No regrets. Then I started not taking so many risks & the next thing I knew. Bang, impulse control, what's that? Big red button. Push it quick! See what happens. Regrets galore.

I feel like I can breathe again. Everything until very recently has been stifling & smothering & I felt like I couldn't breathe. But now I can.

Not that it was what fixed me, but it was the first humongous sign that things were getting better. There were other clues. But this was a definite sign. From me, not from on high.

So, yeah me.