3.7.08
1.7.08
our Donavan
A Donavan story (or two) for those of you who know him. If you don't--Donavan is the 13 neighbor boy who treats me like an extra mom--way too comfortable with me for his own good. But I will support him as his best friend's mom who listens to him & tries to mother him when his mom can't be home as a single parent who has to work to support her boy. Boy calls me up on his cell phone. & wants to ask me what Nat's opinion of Gay Pride was. Now mind you. She is standing next to him & he didn't ask her. WTF?! My first response is "well what did she say when you asked her?" "I didn't". "well you can have my opinion but I can't give you hers since I haven't asked her. I think I know but I think you should ask her" "but you're her mom & kids always have the same opinion as their parents about this sort of thing" "no, Donavan, they don't" "I'm sure you do" "no Donavan I don't. My parents & I stand polar opposites on this one" "no you don't" "yes, we do" "so what is your opinion of gay marriage" "gay pride or gay marriage" "both"
I swear my head hurts every time we talk about anything. I have tried to explain my views on the topic before but it got so hard to explain I had to quit last time. so we finally get to my answer "think of it like this, it's not so much being pro-gay marriage as it is anti-asshole. being mean & picking on people isn't cool" "why don't you like gay marriage" "what's not to like. I object to marriage for anybody being a legal matter. civil unions for everybody with exactly the same rights. the issue isn't just gay marriage. that leaves out the polyamorous. why should the law pick on them too. marriage is a religious rite not a legal institution. civil unions for everybody or maybe something like a household registration process for tax purposes or contract marriages are the way to go to eliminate some of the issues the religious right wing have with gay marriage."
"mom, why don't you like churches" "I like churches that don't pick on people" "mom, why don't you like churches" "I like my church" "mom, why don't you like churches" "Donavan stop talking to me & ask nat her opinion" "fine. whatever. nat how do you feel about gay pride" "what's gay pride" " a protest parade for gay marriage. what's wrong with you, why don't you know this" "well protests are always cool if nobody gets hurt" "what about gay marriage--stop looking at me funny, what's wrong with you" so Nat responds in a really slow loud voice like she's talking to someone she thinks is an idiot "L-O-V-E makes a fam-i-ly" "what's that supposed to mean" "don't be a homophobe" "WHAT's that SUPPOSED to MEAN." luckily at this point I managed to get his attention to convince him to hang up the phone. so I got to miss the rest of a really long conversation. (PS I should add that our Donavan was talking about this because he was going to go march with his mom & her coworker & he is very involved & mentally engaged with this issue because his aunt is a lesbian--he's not actually homophobic, he just has a weird way of supporting her sometimes. usually by picking a fight with someone who agrees with him anyway.)
Then there is tonight. Nat gave Donavan some lotion that triggered my asthma & she told him to put it on at home. Not mentioning that it was a trigger for my allergies because she forgot that he didn't know. So Donavan being Donavan put it on immediately because she told him to wait. Because he is just that way, stirring up trouble, but not knowing that it was going to make me sick because he has a good heart & wouldn't want to be evil that way. So I of course have an attack. & it's a bad one & Donavan freaked out. Nat calmly asks me "is your inhaler in your purse?" as she calmly picks her way (I'll explain this in a second) across the room. Rowan looks up from his video game "Don't die, mom" I start laughing which is so not good for my asthma. Donavan starts to freak out. "don't you care if mom dies, don't make her laugh, you'll kill her" which of course makes me laugh even harder. I am having a little trouble getting the attack to stop but I didn't pass out before we got it settled so no harm no foul. but Donavan was a little hysterical. just a little. I guess it was the first asthma attack of mine he'd seen & he knew he had caused to happen.
I kid you not, he jumps up, the bottle of hand lotion & attempts to run across the room with it. I say attempts because I have the dining room furniture in the living room so I can shampoo the carpets. & we've been doing laundry so the sock basket is in the middle of the floor. He trips falls & lands in the sock basket stands up covered in them (because we gave up fabric softener for my eczema & static cling is the rule) staggers to the front door. Throws it open & it bounces back to hit him in the head, so he throws it open again & chunks the bottle of hand lotion out the front door as far as he can go. at one point he is pulling the hair on his head with both hands. then he is rabidly washing his hands in the sink in the kitchen to get the smell off. he got so upset he ended up crying & my two are trying to tell him it happens all the time, sure this was a bad one but it happens all the time.
He is convinced they are heartless & cruel. poor Nat, she was so calm "are you okay? Donavan, calm down, you are making her laugh". so Rowan tries to explain it to him. "in Boy Scouts they train you to be calm--stop & think dude" I swear Donavan needs a shirt that says "when in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream & shout." because he did "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! what do we do! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! what do we do!". it was such a farce--like a sitcom or something. I finally had to kick them out of the house so I could stop laughing so I could breathe again. & the funniest thing of all was the fact that Donavan has asthma & he didn't know what to do if it wasn't him.
I feel sort of bad for laughing at him--especially when he was crying because he killed me--I was already dead & I just didn't know it yet etc. etc. etc. literally crying. He just couldn't stop babbling & everything that came out of his mouth was hysterically funny. poor nat had to calm him down while fetching my inhaler & a glass of water because I coughed my throat raw. She had to help him wash his hands because he was having trouble figuring out how to get the soap out of the container. & Rowan kept saying "deep breath, dude, deep breath"--not even bothering to stop his video game.
Finally when it was all over & I let them back in the house for dinner. the kids were trying to teach Donavan how to be calm. Nat told him "first you stay calm. REALLY, really calm" (which is why I keep saying calm) "why didn't you run for the inhaler" "you mean trip & fall in the socks because they were in the only open space because of the table & chairs running to the inhaler" "rowan, dude. your mom was sick why didn't you care." "one nat was getting the inhaler--how many did she need she only has one mouth. two if you aren't needed to help--you stay out of the way. three I was sitting by the phone in case I had to call 911. duh. four, somebody needed to be ready to help you when you hurt yourself being a spaz. five I didn't want to get stepped on by you--you're too big, you'd hurt when you stepped on me" Poor, poor Donavan. He was so upset. Then he got a lecture in proper behavior from Rowan. Including a special demonastration of panic breathing, the kind that calms you down.--um, as in the sort of breathing they show women doing on child birth classes on sitcoms (he-he-hoo, he-he-hoo). this is my day. take out the topic add new drama or entertainment shake it up & start all over again with a new & interesting way to entertain the neighbors. welcome to my life.
(side note: I'm fine just a little tired. one more episode a little later where I used my inhaler again but I'm fine now. I also took some benadryl for the allergies the stuff gave me too.)
I swear my head hurts every time we talk about anything. I have tried to explain my views on the topic before but it got so hard to explain I had to quit last time. so we finally get to my answer "think of it like this, it's not so much being pro-gay marriage as it is anti-asshole. being mean & picking on people isn't cool" "why don't you like gay marriage" "what's not to like. I object to marriage for anybody being a legal matter. civil unions for everybody with exactly the same rights. the issue isn't just gay marriage. that leaves out the polyamorous. why should the law pick on them too. marriage is a religious rite not a legal institution. civil unions for everybody or maybe something like a household registration process for tax purposes or contract marriages are the way to go to eliminate some of the issues the religious right wing have with gay marriage."
"mom, why don't you like churches" "I like churches that don't pick on people" "mom, why don't you like churches" "I like my church" "mom, why don't you like churches" "Donavan stop talking to me & ask nat her opinion" "fine. whatever. nat how do you feel about gay pride" "what's gay pride" " a protest parade for gay marriage. what's wrong with you, why don't you know this" "well protests are always cool if nobody gets hurt" "what about gay marriage--stop looking at me funny, what's wrong with you" so Nat responds in a really slow loud voice like she's talking to someone she thinks is an idiot "L-O-V-E makes a fam-i-ly" "what's that supposed to mean" "don't be a homophobe" "WHAT's that SUPPOSED to MEAN." luckily at this point I managed to get his attention to convince him to hang up the phone. so I got to miss the rest of a really long conversation. (PS I should add that our Donavan was talking about this because he was going to go march with his mom & her coworker & he is very involved & mentally engaged with this issue because his aunt is a lesbian--he's not actually homophobic, he just has a weird way of supporting her sometimes. usually by picking a fight with someone who agrees with him anyway.)
Then there is tonight. Nat gave Donavan some lotion that triggered my asthma & she told him to put it on at home. Not mentioning that it was a trigger for my allergies because she forgot that he didn't know. So Donavan being Donavan put it on immediately because she told him to wait. Because he is just that way, stirring up trouble, but not knowing that it was going to make me sick because he has a good heart & wouldn't want to be evil that way. So I of course have an attack. & it's a bad one & Donavan freaked out. Nat calmly asks me "is your inhaler in your purse?" as she calmly picks her way (I'll explain this in a second) across the room. Rowan looks up from his video game "Don't die, mom" I start laughing which is so not good for my asthma. Donavan starts to freak out. "don't you care if mom dies, don't make her laugh, you'll kill her" which of course makes me laugh even harder. I am having a little trouble getting the attack to stop but I didn't pass out before we got it settled so no harm no foul. but Donavan was a little hysterical. just a little. I guess it was the first asthma attack of mine he'd seen & he knew he had caused to happen.
I kid you not, he jumps up, the bottle of hand lotion & attempts to run across the room with it. I say attempts because I have the dining room furniture in the living room so I can shampoo the carpets. & we've been doing laundry so the sock basket is in the middle of the floor. He trips falls & lands in the sock basket stands up covered in them (because we gave up fabric softener for my eczema & static cling is the rule) staggers to the front door. Throws it open & it bounces back to hit him in the head, so he throws it open again & chunks the bottle of hand lotion out the front door as far as he can go. at one point he is pulling the hair on his head with both hands. then he is rabidly washing his hands in the sink in the kitchen to get the smell off. he got so upset he ended up crying & my two are trying to tell him it happens all the time, sure this was a bad one but it happens all the time.
He is convinced they are heartless & cruel. poor Nat, she was so calm "are you okay? Donavan, calm down, you are making her laugh". so Rowan tries to explain it to him. "in Boy Scouts they train you to be calm--stop & think dude" I swear Donavan needs a shirt that says "when in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream & shout." because he did "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! what do we do! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! what do we do!". it was such a farce--like a sitcom or something. I finally had to kick them out of the house so I could stop laughing so I could breathe again. & the funniest thing of all was the fact that Donavan has asthma & he didn't know what to do if it wasn't him.
I feel sort of bad for laughing at him--especially when he was crying because he killed me--I was already dead & I just didn't know it yet etc. etc. etc. literally crying. He just couldn't stop babbling & everything that came out of his mouth was hysterically funny. poor nat had to calm him down while fetching my inhaler & a glass of water because I coughed my throat raw. She had to help him wash his hands because he was having trouble figuring out how to get the soap out of the container. & Rowan kept saying "deep breath, dude, deep breath"--not even bothering to stop his video game.
Finally when it was all over & I let them back in the house for dinner. the kids were trying to teach Donavan how to be calm. Nat told him "first you stay calm. REALLY, really calm" (which is why I keep saying calm) "why didn't you run for the inhaler" "you mean trip & fall in the socks because they were in the only open space because of the table & chairs running to the inhaler" "rowan, dude. your mom was sick why didn't you care." "one nat was getting the inhaler--how many did she need she only has one mouth. two if you aren't needed to help--you stay out of the way. three I was sitting by the phone in case I had to call 911. duh. four, somebody needed to be ready to help you when you hurt yourself being a spaz. five I didn't want to get stepped on by you--you're too big, you'd hurt when you stepped on me" Poor, poor Donavan. He was so upset. Then he got a lecture in proper behavior from Rowan. Including a special demonastration of panic breathing, the kind that calms you down.--um, as in the sort of breathing they show women doing on child birth classes on sitcoms (he-he-hoo, he-he-hoo). this is my day. take out the topic add new drama or entertainment shake it up & start all over again with a new & interesting way to entertain the neighbors. welcome to my life.
(side note: I'm fine just a little tired. one more episode a little later where I used my inhaler again but I'm fine now. I also took some benadryl for the allergies the stuff gave me too.)
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