I can't get this one out of my head. Love it. Love it. LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! watched the show because I own the books by Charlaine Harris & we got free HBO for a year thanks to a Comcast. & now this song is the music score to my life at the strangest times, don't ask, you don't want to know. but must admit this song was playing in my head at the last Cub Scout Pack Meeting when something remind me of Himself. Naughty me. Oh well. But then again, he's the spousal unit so go me. I am totally authorized to think that way about him. Required even.
The opening credits to TrueBlood are a really good piece of work from an artistic sense. I like it. Good tune-age. Good picture/video choices for a show about vampires. A little graphic (gross dead 'possum & decomposing critter--eww, nose crinklingly yucky) but the combination of unsophisticated sensuality & death, decomp & rabid religious fervor--scarily true to the feeling of the show. But I don't usually get impressed by opening credits of tv shows or movies. Okay, pretty much never, once in a blue moon. But damn, that one is impressively memorable & accurate. 'Sides that's the way memories play in my head when I can't sleep at night or I can't concentrate during boring or stressful events. flashes of seemingly disconnected things/events with background music.
Argh. Hate when embedding is disabled but here's the URL for P!nk's SO WHAT. CharlieBoy heard this one first & forced me to listen to it--because it made him think of me. Guess I get a little obnoxious when I embibe sometimes. Suits my mood at times.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJZDsJ8UU64
love the guitar on 3's & 7's. this song can drag me up out of the doldrums ever so deep. thanks to my brother Mick for raving about Queens of the Stoneage until I went looking for their music. & to the radio that played this one over & over again until I caught the name.
& then there's our joanie.
somebody tell me why I am so all over the place. country. rock. rap. bagpipes (sorry, kids no emergency bagpipe system have to buy it to hear it. even the preview at iTunes doesn't do it justice. it's the totality for me not the clippage) classical even. my all time fav classical music is Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King:
but do not forget the cello-metal masters Apocalyptica version (sorry but "cello-metal masters" makes me giggle even if I do like their work)--because I like metal dudes especially slim long haired metal dudes with tats & piercings & I love "In the Hall of the Mountain King" so combining them is totally yummy. yeah, art. Everytime I hear something from them. I think "& now for something completely different". I don't usually like remakes or veerage from an art form (me object to veerage, what the? yeah but it's art, I get to have preferences) but when you take what seems totally inappropriate (Metallic) play it on cellos & you are dressed all Metalicious & utterly rock my world with your score, I must pay homage. Or Grieg played by metal dudes with cellos & drums. Well done, you. Do it again & again & again. Yeah, team. Of course the fact that Metallica sounds just as awesome on guitar or in full symphony as well as via the metal-cello music medium actually says something about the gloriousness of the music itself. That it's not just noise, by any standards. You might prefer one offering (say for whom the bell tolls in symponic glory) or another but that you can play the same music in such variety of ways. . . all hale, Metallica, rockgods. I prefer the official video from Apocalyptica:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf2aIVKp1OY
but again with the no embedding. I protest most strongly. so here's an embeddable one:
1.11.08
moment to moment & WAVA (or why mom has no life)
***ADVISORY. EXCESS VERBIAGE TO FOLLOW. PROCEED AT ON RISK***
I am always so impressed with those people who can live day-to-day. How do they manage. I seem to be reeling moment to moment. I am drained. I wish I could reconnect with all the people I drifted away from over the past year as I try to process stuff & get my kids education on track. I miss you all IRL. Hugs. Thank you for honking at me, Sonja, & then telling me you honked at me. I was seriously freaked at the time because I was thinking very hard when the honking occurred.
I am overwhelmed with my amazing kids & their schooling. No desire to quit. Just wish it would simplify faster. I know how to do math, I understand physics & grammar. But how the hell do you teach them to follow directions & both don't rush things nor dawdle (Natalie & Rowan)!?! & while telling a child there is no right answer in art, trying to explain there is a right & wrong way to do mathematics (you have to have a method that works consistently, Rowan & Natalie, it's not a good method if it doesn't always work), without beating your head bloody on the wall.
We are doing WAVA (Washington Virtual Academy) which is challenging my kids. In a good way. To follow directions. & to stay on task. & to work toward a goal & measure progress towards that goal to accomplish that goal in a timely fashion. I love that the tracking is done online. I love that a good portion of the schoolwork is done online (even if it is just inputting the answers to the quiz online). I love that it is keeping me honest. Good program. I recommend it.
Especially if you are the sort to worry about that sort of thing. & even more so if you are the sort of person who doesn't worry about that sort of thing. It is fixing some of my weakness (consistently staying organized big picture wise, in a reasonable time, "yeah math & science & reading & history & art" is not always a good answer to the questions inherent in homeschooling) while giving me time to play to my strengths (enrichment--they mentioned sinkholes, time to google a video about things falling into sinkholes). I do better when I've got a point to veer from because when you veer without a memorable starting point sometimes the result is great but other times you have gotten so lost you can't find your way home with out a compass, a map, a couple of Boy Scout troops & the freaking Canadian mounties.
I love that it is a mastery based program--understand the work, take a quiz over the various days' materials, get 80% or better, don't worry about doing the pages in the book or other assignments, take the test get 80% or better, move on. or have problems? slow down, you have the time because you zipped through the easy stuff. Rowan is taking the assessments (quizzes) in Math for two days each day, most of the time we're spending maybe 15, 30 minutes a day on actual Math work (we do skill drills & review concepts to do a little more work in Math everyday). We've done the assignments for only one lesson out of the last twenty lessons. He had never been exposed to that method of checking his work. Do I even think that was super important mathematically? Absolutely not, but hey, it doesn't hurt him to learn how to play the game sometimes.
I once had a job where I was require to put the books on the shelf a certain way (sort of alphabetized but also tall books on the outside edge of the shelf short books in the middle, they called it alphapretty) hated the method but didn't want to get a different job or have to deal with being yelled at by boss, so I just did it the way I was asked. Or when I had to learn how to file things in a strange completely counter intuitive way at the engineering company I worked at because I was a temp & they weren't going to change things when I was leaving in 6 weeks, so I just did it the way I was asked. I just did what I had to do to get things done & get along because it wasn't bad just inefficient & idiotic. Guess I don't want my kids to grow up without learning that the games sucks or I'm bad at it so I'm going to go home & sulk (my friend's son is notorious for constant refusing to play any game unless he is good enough to beat either the game, his opponents or else be superior to his teammates. nice, huh? that kid has issues.) Make it work. Or enjoy it for what it is.
But we might spend 20 minutes on one freaking question in Science for Rowan. Why you say? Did he know the answer? Yes, but he doesn't like to write. Ever. For any reason. & he especially doesn't like to give detailed answers in complete sentences. That child is terse. One word answer. Yeah. Multiple choice, okay, as long as he isn't being difficult. Essay questions--you are listening to WWIII in my living room. Or then there was the spelling lesson that had 3 words that violated the ie before e except after c rule & he kept missing those & a couple of other rule breaking words on the assessment so we spent another day practicing those words & retook the test day after that. Poor kid, he was trying not to get frustrated or pissy about it, but he just kept forgetting the words during the actual test & was trying to reason how to spell things (which he is getting really good at lately). We have been working on learning spelling concepts (rules, word families as he calls them) & then to have them violated blew his mind & frustrated the hell out of him.
I know some people unschool & I understand why. But I think that I want my kids to learn that sometimes you just need to learn how to do it (& then do it) unless you have a reason not to. That if you choose to be a part of an organization & you don't object to things on a moral stand point or any other valid intelligent reasoning, that occasionally it is okay to go with the flow even if it seems stupid once in awhile. Do I ever worry that my kids could grow up to be a Hitler youth type if they got sucked into an organization? Going along with the flow & doing foul deeds? Not on your life. Do I worry that they will join something, approve of it, & then become obstructionary to the process so their own personal goals are not accomplished & they are left feeling dissatisfied? All of the time.
My kids are notorious for spending the entire time their friends come over for a playdate planning what they are going to do, but then they feel let down because they never did get around to playing. Or else, they discuss what movie they are going to watch for 60-70 minutes then it is 45 minutes to bedtime & they have to decide to start & not finish the movie or just not watch it. If you really want to effectively show that bs busywork type stuff is lame (I'm responding to my Nat), you need to be able to show your way works in the real world before you go tell the world to go fly a kite. {I wonder sometimes if it is easier to say @#*% you to the world if one can't function it like your average joe (speaking for myself not anyone else).} We are working on being more goal orientated. We already got the whole "dude, it's about the journey not the destination" thing down pretty well. I think a synthesis of the two thought processes might just be a more satisfying lifestyle in the long run.
And sometimes, just because your way is better, but you can't convince the people you need to implement it to work with you, you need to just button your lip & get to work. That some progress is better than no progress. Not always, but sometimes. If you need a group to get something done, you just need to find the best, workable solution for the group, not just an ideal solution. It's not an ideal world, baby girl. I wish it was, but it's not. Save the universe but feed the kids & change the diapers, too.
Hmm, like WAVA. Kids chose it from the options we gave them. It is a way to get something done that we need to get done (school) so we don't have to deal with the legal consequences. It is inherently a more positive experience than negative. It works. So nitpicking & getting bogged down in the occasional minor detail or lesson is both counterproductive & emotionally dissatisfying in the long run. I find myself periodically saying, "shutup & soldier, soldier" It's become my way of saying, "dang it, you got your self into this, the only way out of it is to go through it. stopping whining & get it done"
Which reminds me. Something that pops up into my head as my daughter bitches about doing things systematically or everybody having to accomplish things certain ways to be recognized as having completion or skill. Nat wants to be in the Army (she wants to be an Army interpreter). Uh. Okay. You kind of need to be able to take orders & follow them if you are going to be military. Just a little bit. Or at least, know how to interpret those orders so you don't get in trouble. You also have to be able to function within a certain behavioral standard if you want to be a part of a group that functions in a top down, you-will-conform-or-be-ousted sort of way. Free spirits & the Army. Hmm. Uh. Okay. Sure. Yes, baby girl, you can do any thing you put your mind to if you just work at it. But YOU might have to change yourself to accomplish your goals, not just the world.
I seemed to have managed to raise my kids to question everything (including me) which is biting me in the ass & making the home schooling rough sometimes. It is VERY difficult to explain something when the person you are explaining it to is questioning you through the entire explanation--"Why are you telling me that? I already know that. Explain what I don't know." (Nat) I tend to operate from the theory that you start an explanation from common knowledge & then relate it to the unknown. My kids tend question whether or not the sky really is blue (mom, it's gray, not blue, we live in WA) or even what shade of blue it is when you are trying to talk about the mechanics of the rainbow. That's fine & dandy, five seconds for veerage, then we need to move right along the path to knowledge.
I just wish they would pick & chose their & questions & also learn when it is appropriate to ask a question (are you having trouble in math? are you a day behind in your lessons? write down the philosophical objections to Algebra & using z as a variable {what the hell did z ever do to you that you want to relegate it to the abyss, Nat!?! leave it alone, z is good people, a little neglected but still an excellent letter all the same}--when you are grown & on your own, you never have to do Algebra again or use z as a variable--& debate it over the freaking dinner table not while trying to learn about exponents & the associative & distributive properties & order of operations) so you can pass the test & we can move on the next unit. hell, the next problem. hell, the next line in the simplification of the equation. I want them to question. I really do, but it tends to slow down the learning process when one questions to excess. Just a bit.
That & trying figure out how not to point out the proverbial elephant in the living room when the kids ask me questions. The kids can see the result, but the actual problem? Mom, how do I find such & such in a book? I can't say: it is on the page you're looking at, literally under your thumb. I have to talk about things like how to use an index, or a table of content or the heading of the section. I find myself explaining things to the kids that seem to be how to work the system not how how to learn. Example primus: How to find an answer to a review question at the end of the chapter. That most authors are lazy (or they try to make it easy for you) & they probably flipped through the chapter & then asked the questions in the order the concepts were in the chapter. That's a little confusing. Try this: the answer to question 1 is found first then the question to answer 2 then question 3 & so on in the text. So if you can't find 2 but you already know the answers to 1 & 3 look for the answer to 2 between the answer for 1 & 3. That doesn't always work but it does most of the time. Or if you are looking for the answer to a book sometimes the answer to a question about a map, you should look at the actual map in question & oh yeah, don't forget to read the map key, & that means the entire map key which yes really is a little large for such a small map but it is a really detailed map. Rowan is also notorious for reading out loud the first half of a sentence (yes, it might really be a runon sentence) that contains the answer to the question but not the part of the sentence with the actually answer & then saying I don't get it where's the answer. TURN the page. LOOK UNDER THE PICTURE for the rest of the sentence. FINISH THE SENTENCE. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The boy reads above grade level unless there are nitpicky detailed questions. Ask him the underlying meaning behind something, he'll give you a really interesting, oddball, yet insightful answer (not what 99.999% of the world would answer, but the sort of answer you respond to with wow, I would of never gone there but now that you did I can see why & I am going to have to think about that, very cool, little dude, very cool.). Ask him a question with a specific answer & he will argue that it's a bad question & will give you 5 reasons why that specific answer should be what it is & a better question is XYZ.
Hell, they asked what page some thing was on & he felt like protesting the usage of Roman numerals for the introduction because it made the introduction seem optional or unnecessary & if it was optional or unnecessary they should have left it out entirely but since they left in--it must have a purpose so don't treat it like a second class citizen! so he figured out how many pages were in Roman numerals & added it to the number at the bottom of the page & that was the answer he gave. I shit you not. Anybody else would write "page 25" because that was the page number printed on the page where the answer is found. But Rowan writes "page 42" then verbally discusses the "introductionism" & that prejudice of any sort is bad & he objects to writing "page 25" for the following reasons. . . . Which is fine & dandy but if you have too many morally stance answers to questions or careless mistakes on a six or seven question assessment it's not an 80% & you have to redo the assessment. Which if it is something he gives me & not an online assessment, I can applaud his desire to be fair & not prejudiced agains intros & his out of the box thinking but then I tell him to erase the answer "page 42" & write "page 25" because he knows that it is the answer they want. And if he really objects to the usage of Roman numerals for the introduction then he needs to share his concerns with the author of the book or the editor. & to protest in a fashion that hurts him (delays his free time & prolongs his lesson time) & does nothing to prevent that heinous act from recurring is a waste of his time & mine. & he should not protest in such a useless & comedic fashion if he wants to be taken seriously.
I was really frustrated that day because sometimes it seems like the kiddos didn't want to just look for the answer, they really just wanted me to tell them what it is or just say read this paragraph here. And every class was full of questions like that. On a bad day, they really hate looking up facts to answer questions or any question that involves trial & error. & I just need to keep saying. That one takes a little work. & really, if I just give you the answer, you won't learning anything. Or else, they felt compelled to object to the question & to record the answer based on their moral concerns rather than on what the conventional answer should be. it was an 8 hour school day that day for Rowan & 9 for Nat.
I get their morals stance answers. Really, I do. Hell, I used to attach an extra paper to some tests with a different response to questions because I didn't like the question or I objected to the conventional thinking. But I always put the answer the teacher/text required in the proper location. I had one teacher that used to love my alterna-tests as he used to call them. I had another teacher who would remove the extra paper & trash it write in front of me. Whatever. But I did what I had to do (answer the the questions according to the material), to accomplish my goal (pass the class). While still taking my moral stance.
The first unit tests for the kiddos sucked. The second unit tests improved significantly. Were they actually learning more educational material? I actually don't think they were. I think they were just following directions more & thinking a little more deeply about what they were doing. & actually answering the questions that were asked, not what ever seemed like a better answer to the question. {Rowan stop evaluating & objecting to test questions by answering what seems like a better question to you. I refuse to mark as correct the problem if you only give me the correct answer verbally with the wrong answer written in protest. Sheesh, make the protest verbal, dude. I didn't write either the book or the test. You are only biting off your nose to spite your face. I applaud the ability to find the grammatical problems in the Math book but when did you stop answering the problem correctly on paper? If it is such a problem, write a better text book/test/question or send a letter detailing both your complaint & solution to the curriculum people.}
The fact that they are doing better on tests is good. Really. Even if I feel like the only thing I have in my life is the kids' school or scouts or soccer or rock climbing. I want to do these things I just wish we could knock a few hours a week out of the school schedule for me to have time to myself. The kids are doing better. They are gradually needing less time to get their work accomplished. It's worth it. Really it is. (Can you hear the mantra in my head?) The amount you sacrifice may not give you a greater reward but you are more thankful for that reward. Or at least, that's how I feel. (Can you here the mantra in my head?)
Nat is doing Math right now as I type this. Because she is learning that you have to answer the question as it is written not just any old way. Especially, not the prettiful way because prettiful is not actually a word & it annoys your mother. You just have to pass standardized tests--you don't have to like them or max them out. & she is learning that if work is not done during the week, you do it during the weekend. She is also learning that is awesome to do extra work on the material you love (or detest & want to get past) but that you also need to accomplish set tasks. {These lessons will serve you well in life, my child, really. Even as you fuss & hate me because you are doing homework on the weekends or later in the evenings than you want to. I love you & this proves it. Really. It does. Because it is a pain in the keister to go through this with you. & to constantly tell you the same things over & over again. But you are worth it. Good thing I like you, Nat.}
She was a little disgruntled with that concept. But I pointed out to her that is would be problematic if you were an electrician working in a factory {like her uncle} & you spent an excessive amount of time working on the decorative lighting out front of the factory {not like her uncle} but the machine inside {you know, the one that does the actual work the factory exists & was created to do} is down & then you went home early while everyone was sitting around waiting to do their jobs until the machine was fixed. You wouldn't keep that job very long. Nor would you get promoted or a raise. She countered with the idea of working for herself--she would only have to do the work she liked.
Luckily, I had a few ideas about that too. Like Sonja (thank you so much for existing! & making me think of this) & her dyed stuffage. I got to play the what if game with Nat. What if Sonja hates trips to the post office but loves dying the product. I got to ask Nat how long Sonja would stay in business if she posted pix on the internet & sold product with out actually ever mailing it out. Or consistently mailed it out really, really, really late. Self-employed doesn't mean that one doesn't need to accomplish things in a timely fashion. That just because you're setting the goals doesn't mean they don't need to be accomplished or that sometimes you have to crap jobs so you can do the fun stuff.
And then, we tried the pet analogy with her. Pets are a beautiful addition to any family. They still need to be walked & fed & litter boxes cleaned & dog poo scooped out of the yard & oh wait, the puppy you got from the pound was abused & is slow to & regresses a lot& you screwed up the socializing & probably shouldn't have gotten the special needs puppy until you had a regular puppy first but now he's here & a lot of work & worry. Would we get rid of that dog just because he's work? Nope. We love him. Do the kids get to give up education even though it has become challenging & time consuming for them? Nope, sorry. Nat & Rowan haven't got the idea yet that the time & energy they put into their education will enrich their lives just like pet care pays off in the end. Maybe not in love but there will be a significant (positive) difference in their life because they were educated. Not takin a face spiting, nose biting stance to questions is the educational equivalent of picking up dog poo out of the yard. Necessary to the overall goal even if distasteful.
That made them laugh, & we had the eternal crackbaby conversation. "Mom, that's dumb, are you a crack head? Don't be a crackbaby, mom. What are you smoking? Must be pot, pot makes you dumb. D-U-M-B, dumb." Have to love the 10 year chanting T-H-C accumulates in the ber-rain-ain, then the 13 year old starts singing insane in the membrane & putting that song on continuous repeat on iTunes on the school playlist {yes, we do a iTunes playlist for school time, music is good, their choice, I only limit them to no competing playlists & no songs that aren't mutually agreeable, & now no continuous repeating of songs}. Because accumulate was a spelling word. Learning why drugs are bad just gave my kids ways to talk back more effectively. Do I worry about my kids doing drugs? Not so much. Do I worry about my kids using their anti drug & alcohol info & spelling word lists to mock me when I try to argue my point? All the freaking time. & my kids are arguing that education is bad. It makes their jokes just a little more sophisticated. They are not just limited to lighting their farts like cavemen & making poo jokes. They can make plays on words, make veiled superior snooty literary references (okay, okay. so Rowan cites the Fudge books & the Piers Anthony Xanth novels, but hey, you use what you know.) & use the damn computer to annoy me for hours on end. Because they are being educated. How's that for ironic.
I literally spent 45 minutes explaining why Nat had to do the work before I spent 3 minutes explaining how to do the work Friday. Repeat, ad nauseum, ad inifinitum. But we did that with OffCampus last year too. Nat actually ended up opting out of OffCampus the hard way by screwing up the requirements & getting kicked out. (We were going to quit but we kept forgetting to put in the paperwork. Whups.) Have to do it the standard way, if you want a standard response, kiddo. Or get approval to veer from the plan fromt the person who gets to have final say over your goals.
But with WAVA, she is finding it a lot easier to get her record keeping accomplished (OffCampus made it a lot more work for her with less support from me)--I put in her time (my job). & I help her when she's confused & make sure she has accomplished what was required. But a lot of her work she does on her own with no help from me, some things I need to grade but there's also a lot of assessments that are all her--doing online assessments. I mostly only (that phrase is so wrong on so many levels but I love the way it sounds--mostly only) schedule the work she's missing (you need some more Math done, guess you'll be doing it Sat & Sun. just because you did 2 hours worth today, doesn't count for progress just for attendance, you missed too many problems on the assessment). Or make sure she thinks about what she's doing when. Say if we need to travel for a field trip (do the computer work before or after, bring the book work & do that in the car). But the program makes it very easy to point to something & say look, you have to have 11% of your Math mastered & finished by the end of the month & you have 9% done--skip the literature (you've got 15% done) until you are caught up on the Math.
Both kids log on in the morning, check their assignments & start working without me having to help them (I log in & check progress & work & materials for the day). We set up the basement with 2 computers & all their supplies & books. Made monitoring work easier for mum. Rowan has some parent lead classes--like Spelling but really, if the assignment for the day is for him to do the workbook, he logs on, does the workbook then hands it to me to check. He then asks permission to mark it completed. I always let him click the button that says completed even if we do it on my log on--it makes him happy to do it. They decide what they want to do, when. Am I in the mood for Math or Vocabulary? Sometimes it bites them in the butt if they skip it then they want to watch tv (or play video games or hang out with friends) & they don't have everything done. Is your work done? Sorry, do your work first. Did you sleep in 10? Oh well, guess you have to finish up your History after dinner. no video games until schoolwork & chores are done.
The kiddos are really learning that for every action there is an opposite & equal reaction. That every action has a consequence, good or bad. They can see their progress & they respond to getting their goals accomplished (mom, I got 14% of my Math done but I only needed 9% done by the end of the month, give me a high five. dude, I've got wheels). Rowan is funny, there are times when I might be on the phone or helping Nat & he isn't supposed to interrupt but he will raise up my hand so he can high five me & then I am supposed to come back & ask him why later. They are constantly evaluating their work & how they feel about the responses they get to that work.
Both of my children were part of the decision making process when came to their home schooling. They both chose WAVA from at least one or two options. Would they choose it again from the same options? Yes, strangely enough, but don't ask them on a bad day! Ask them on a good day or an okay day. And we are gradually having more of those. We have days where Rowan is doing things like the dead fishie dance. We were learning about pollution in science & doing a reenactment of how fish respond to pollution seemed appropriate to him as an answer to a question {don't ask him about it--he is too cool to do anything but deny it--but it is a memory I will cherish until the day I die, I did almost pee my pants from laughing, though}. My son does the best comic interpretive dances or skits on good days.
We have days where Nat decides that drawing is dumb & the next unit is clay art she busts through 3 lessons in art so she can spend two days working with clay & begs mom to buy more clay for fun. Or where Nat & mom spend time talking about the effect of the Catholic church on history & excesses of the popes & some of the beautiful art in Catholic churches & the beautiful books & the fact that the Christian faith may have had its issues over the years but the handmade books are beautiful enough to make you weep. & monks labored over those handmade books & Gregor Mendel was a monk with a garden. So those bad popes aren't the only thing the Catholic Church brought to our world or helped facilitate. Or when Charlie is drawing an element on a white erase board & he has to have green & red markers because green means go. Or. Or. Or. How much time do most people get to spend with their kids in public school? How many memories do they have like that? I have more now than ever did when they were in public school.
I get to both decry & applaud the actions of some groups. It is hard to be positive about the Germans during the World Wars. It is easy to dehumanize them & demonize them. But I get to talk to my daughter about the how the German military trained before the second world war. (They were very inventive in circumventing restrictions.) & how you shouldn't throw out a good idea just because a horrific monster came up with it. What if Adolf Hitler had come up with penicillin, would you still use it {can you tell I love the what if game}? Tell my daughter that antibiotics saved my life before I was a year old. Watch my daughter's face as she puzzles through that one was amazing. I mean, come on, she won't use animal tested hair care products. Trying to explain that people are rarely wholly good or evil & that we all need to know that we have to choose to be good. That it may not necessarily come automatically to do the right thing.
Okay, so I'm a dork. 45 minute discussion of moral philosophy & ambiguities with my 13 year old daughter after reading about the various excess of some of the Catholic popes was absolutely, positively fun. Talking about the Huns & Hitler really made Nat's head spin. & she came up with some great responses that I might not have thought of myself at that moment in time.
Oh well, at least, Natalie & Rowan know Mom & Dad think education important. & they know Mom & Dad will put the hours into them & their education & that they are a priority for us, if not THE priority for us. And that there are reason,s for the things we ask them to do. But my head hurts something awful on the bad days.
(p.s. somewhere there are typos but now I'm tired & I can't remember where the other typos were. I will come back & fix them so no typo complaints, nor complaints about editing later. I'm too tired & as demonstrated by the last post (where is the actual content by the way, blast & bother) to actually wade through & found the typos I found in the published post. sorry. mea culpa. mea maxima culpa.)
I am always so impressed with those people who can live day-to-day. How do they manage. I seem to be reeling moment to moment. I am drained. I wish I could reconnect with all the people I drifted away from over the past year as I try to process stuff & get my kids education on track. I miss you all IRL. Hugs. Thank you for honking at me, Sonja, & then telling me you honked at me. I was seriously freaked at the time because I was thinking very hard when the honking occurred.
I am overwhelmed with my amazing kids & their schooling. No desire to quit. Just wish it would simplify faster. I know how to do math, I understand physics & grammar. But how the hell do you teach them to follow directions & both don't rush things nor dawdle (Natalie & Rowan)!?! & while telling a child there is no right answer in art, trying to explain there is a right & wrong way to do mathematics (you have to have a method that works consistently, Rowan & Natalie, it's not a good method if it doesn't always work), without beating your head bloody on the wall.
We are doing WAVA (Washington Virtual Academy) which is challenging my kids. In a good way. To follow directions. & to stay on task. & to work toward a goal & measure progress towards that goal to accomplish that goal in a timely fashion. I love that the tracking is done online. I love that a good portion of the schoolwork is done online (even if it is just inputting the answers to the quiz online). I love that it is keeping me honest. Good program. I recommend it.
Especially if you are the sort to worry about that sort of thing. & even more so if you are the sort of person who doesn't worry about that sort of thing. It is fixing some of my weakness (consistently staying organized big picture wise, in a reasonable time, "yeah math & science & reading & history & art" is not always a good answer to the questions inherent in homeschooling) while giving me time to play to my strengths (enrichment--they mentioned sinkholes, time to google a video about things falling into sinkholes). I do better when I've got a point to veer from because when you veer without a memorable starting point sometimes the result is great but other times you have gotten so lost you can't find your way home with out a compass, a map, a couple of Boy Scout troops & the freaking Canadian mounties.
I love that it is a mastery based program--understand the work, take a quiz over the various days' materials, get 80% or better, don't worry about doing the pages in the book or other assignments, take the test get 80% or better, move on. or have problems? slow down, you have the time because you zipped through the easy stuff. Rowan is taking the assessments (quizzes) in Math for two days each day, most of the time we're spending maybe 15, 30 minutes a day on actual Math work (we do skill drills & review concepts to do a little more work in Math everyday). We've done the assignments for only one lesson out of the last twenty lessons. He had never been exposed to that method of checking his work. Do I even think that was super important mathematically? Absolutely not, but hey, it doesn't hurt him to learn how to play the game sometimes.
I once had a job where I was require to put the books on the shelf a certain way (sort of alphabetized but also tall books on the outside edge of the shelf short books in the middle, they called it alphapretty) hated the method but didn't want to get a different job or have to deal with being yelled at by boss, so I just did it the way I was asked. Or when I had to learn how to file things in a strange completely counter intuitive way at the engineering company I worked at because I was a temp & they weren't going to change things when I was leaving in 6 weeks, so I just did it the way I was asked. I just did what I had to do to get things done & get along because it wasn't bad just inefficient & idiotic. Guess I don't want my kids to grow up without learning that the games sucks or I'm bad at it so I'm going to go home & sulk (my friend's son is notorious for constant refusing to play any game unless he is good enough to beat either the game, his opponents or else be superior to his teammates. nice, huh? that kid has issues.) Make it work. Or enjoy it for what it is.
But we might spend 20 minutes on one freaking question in Science for Rowan. Why you say? Did he know the answer? Yes, but he doesn't like to write. Ever. For any reason. & he especially doesn't like to give detailed answers in complete sentences. That child is terse. One word answer. Yeah. Multiple choice, okay, as long as he isn't being difficult. Essay questions--you are listening to WWIII in my living room. Or then there was the spelling lesson that had 3 words that violated the ie before e except after c rule & he kept missing those & a couple of other rule breaking words on the assessment so we spent another day practicing those words & retook the test day after that. Poor kid, he was trying not to get frustrated or pissy about it, but he just kept forgetting the words during the actual test & was trying to reason how to spell things (which he is getting really good at lately). We have been working on learning spelling concepts (rules, word families as he calls them) & then to have them violated blew his mind & frustrated the hell out of him.
I know some people unschool & I understand why. But I think that I want my kids to learn that sometimes you just need to learn how to do it (& then do it) unless you have a reason not to. That if you choose to be a part of an organization & you don't object to things on a moral stand point or any other valid intelligent reasoning, that occasionally it is okay to go with the flow even if it seems stupid once in awhile. Do I ever worry that my kids could grow up to be a Hitler youth type if they got sucked into an organization? Going along with the flow & doing foul deeds? Not on your life. Do I worry that they will join something, approve of it, & then become obstructionary to the process so their own personal goals are not accomplished & they are left feeling dissatisfied? All of the time.
My kids are notorious for spending the entire time their friends come over for a playdate planning what they are going to do, but then they feel let down because they never did get around to playing. Or else, they discuss what movie they are going to watch for 60-70 minutes then it is 45 minutes to bedtime & they have to decide to start & not finish the movie or just not watch it. If you really want to effectively show that bs busywork type stuff is lame (I'm responding to my Nat), you need to be able to show your way works in the real world before you go tell the world to go fly a kite. {I wonder sometimes if it is easier to say @#*% you to the world if one can't function it like your average joe (speaking for myself not anyone else).} We are working on being more goal orientated. We already got the whole "dude, it's about the journey not the destination" thing down pretty well. I think a synthesis of the two thought processes might just be a more satisfying lifestyle in the long run.
And sometimes, just because your way is better, but you can't convince the people you need to implement it to work with you, you need to just button your lip & get to work. That some progress is better than no progress. Not always, but sometimes. If you need a group to get something done, you just need to find the best, workable solution for the group, not just an ideal solution. It's not an ideal world, baby girl. I wish it was, but it's not. Save the universe but feed the kids & change the diapers, too.
Hmm, like WAVA. Kids chose it from the options we gave them. It is a way to get something done that we need to get done (school) so we don't have to deal with the legal consequences. It is inherently a more positive experience than negative. It works. So nitpicking & getting bogged down in the occasional minor detail or lesson is both counterproductive & emotionally dissatisfying in the long run. I find myself periodically saying, "shutup & soldier, soldier" It's become my way of saying, "dang it, you got your self into this, the only way out of it is to go through it. stopping whining & get it done"
Which reminds me. Something that pops up into my head as my daughter bitches about doing things systematically or everybody having to accomplish things certain ways to be recognized as having completion or skill. Nat wants to be in the Army (she wants to be an Army interpreter). Uh. Okay. You kind of need to be able to take orders & follow them if you are going to be military. Just a little bit. Or at least, know how to interpret those orders so you don't get in trouble. You also have to be able to function within a certain behavioral standard if you want to be a part of a group that functions in a top down, you-will-conform-or-be-ousted sort of way. Free spirits & the Army. Hmm. Uh. Okay. Sure. Yes, baby girl, you can do any thing you put your mind to if you just work at it. But YOU might have to change yourself to accomplish your goals, not just the world.
I seemed to have managed to raise my kids to question everything (including me) which is biting me in the ass & making the home schooling rough sometimes. It is VERY difficult to explain something when the person you are explaining it to is questioning you through the entire explanation--"Why are you telling me that? I already know that. Explain what I don't know." (Nat) I tend to operate from the theory that you start an explanation from common knowledge & then relate it to the unknown. My kids tend question whether or not the sky really is blue (mom, it's gray, not blue, we live in WA) or even what shade of blue it is when you are trying to talk about the mechanics of the rainbow. That's fine & dandy, five seconds for veerage, then we need to move right along the path to knowledge.
I just wish they would pick & chose their & questions & also learn when it is appropriate to ask a question (are you having trouble in math? are you a day behind in your lessons? write down the philosophical objections to Algebra & using z as a variable {what the hell did z ever do to you that you want to relegate it to the abyss, Nat!?! leave it alone, z is good people, a little neglected but still an excellent letter all the same}--when you are grown & on your own, you never have to do Algebra again or use z as a variable--& debate it over the freaking dinner table not while trying to learn about exponents & the associative & distributive properties & order of operations) so you can pass the test & we can move on the next unit. hell, the next problem. hell, the next line in the simplification of the equation. I want them to question. I really do, but it tends to slow down the learning process when one questions to excess. Just a bit.
That & trying figure out how not to point out the proverbial elephant in the living room when the kids ask me questions. The kids can see the result, but the actual problem? Mom, how do I find such & such in a book? I can't say: it is on the page you're looking at, literally under your thumb. I have to talk about things like how to use an index, or a table of content or the heading of the section. I find myself explaining things to the kids that seem to be how to work the system not how how to learn. Example primus: How to find an answer to a review question at the end of the chapter. That most authors are lazy (or they try to make it easy for you) & they probably flipped through the chapter & then asked the questions in the order the concepts were in the chapter. That's a little confusing. Try this: the answer to question 1 is found first then the question to answer 2 then question 3 & so on in the text. So if you can't find 2 but you already know the answers to 1 & 3 look for the answer to 2 between the answer for 1 & 3. That doesn't always work but it does most of the time. Or if you are looking for the answer to a book sometimes the answer to a question about a map, you should look at the actual map in question & oh yeah, don't forget to read the map key, & that means the entire map key which yes really is a little large for such a small map but it is a really detailed map. Rowan is also notorious for reading out loud the first half of a sentence (yes, it might really be a runon sentence) that contains the answer to the question but not the part of the sentence with the actually answer & then saying I don't get it where's the answer. TURN the page. LOOK UNDER THE PICTURE for the rest of the sentence. FINISH THE SENTENCE. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The boy reads above grade level unless there are nitpicky detailed questions. Ask him the underlying meaning behind something, he'll give you a really interesting, oddball, yet insightful answer (not what 99.999% of the world would answer, but the sort of answer you respond to with wow, I would of never gone there but now that you did I can see why & I am going to have to think about that, very cool, little dude, very cool.). Ask him a question with a specific answer & he will argue that it's a bad question & will give you 5 reasons why that specific answer should be what it is & a better question is XYZ.
Hell, they asked what page some thing was on & he felt like protesting the usage of Roman numerals for the introduction because it made the introduction seem optional or unnecessary & if it was optional or unnecessary they should have left it out entirely but since they left in--it must have a purpose so don't treat it like a second class citizen! so he figured out how many pages were in Roman numerals & added it to the number at the bottom of the page & that was the answer he gave. I shit you not. Anybody else would write "page 25" because that was the page number printed on the page where the answer is found. But Rowan writes "page 42" then verbally discusses the "introductionism" & that prejudice of any sort is bad & he objects to writing "page 25" for the following reasons. . . . Which is fine & dandy but if you have too many morally stance answers to questions or careless mistakes on a six or seven question assessment it's not an 80% & you have to redo the assessment. Which if it is something he gives me & not an online assessment, I can applaud his desire to be fair & not prejudiced agains intros & his out of the box thinking but then I tell him to erase the answer "page 42" & write "page 25" because he knows that it is the answer they want. And if he really objects to the usage of Roman numerals for the introduction then he needs to share his concerns with the author of the book or the editor. & to protest in a fashion that hurts him (delays his free time & prolongs his lesson time) & does nothing to prevent that heinous act from recurring is a waste of his time & mine. & he should not protest in such a useless & comedic fashion if he wants to be taken seriously.
I was really frustrated that day because sometimes it seems like the kiddos didn't want to just look for the answer, they really just wanted me to tell them what it is or just say read this paragraph here. And every class was full of questions like that. On a bad day, they really hate looking up facts to answer questions or any question that involves trial & error. & I just need to keep saying. That one takes a little work. & really, if I just give you the answer, you won't learning anything. Or else, they felt compelled to object to the question & to record the answer based on their moral concerns rather than on what the conventional answer should be. it was an 8 hour school day that day for Rowan & 9 for Nat.
I get their morals stance answers. Really, I do. Hell, I used to attach an extra paper to some tests with a different response to questions because I didn't like the question or I objected to the conventional thinking. But I always put the answer the teacher/text required in the proper location. I had one teacher that used to love my alterna-tests as he used to call them. I had another teacher who would remove the extra paper & trash it write in front of me. Whatever. But I did what I had to do (answer the the questions according to the material), to accomplish my goal (pass the class). While still taking my moral stance.
The first unit tests for the kiddos sucked. The second unit tests improved significantly. Were they actually learning more educational material? I actually don't think they were. I think they were just following directions more & thinking a little more deeply about what they were doing. & actually answering the questions that were asked, not what ever seemed like a better answer to the question. {Rowan stop evaluating & objecting to test questions by answering what seems like a better question to you. I refuse to mark as correct the problem if you only give me the correct answer verbally with the wrong answer written in protest. Sheesh, make the protest verbal, dude. I didn't write either the book or the test. You are only biting off your nose to spite your face. I applaud the ability to find the grammatical problems in the Math book but when did you stop answering the problem correctly on paper? If it is such a problem, write a better text book/test/question or send a letter detailing both your complaint & solution to the curriculum people.}
The fact that they are doing better on tests is good. Really. Even if I feel like the only thing I have in my life is the kids' school or scouts or soccer or rock climbing. I want to do these things I just wish we could knock a few hours a week out of the school schedule for me to have time to myself. The kids are doing better. They are gradually needing less time to get their work accomplished. It's worth it. Really it is. (Can you hear the mantra in my head?) The amount you sacrifice may not give you a greater reward but you are more thankful for that reward. Or at least, that's how I feel. (Can you here the mantra in my head?)
Nat is doing Math right now as I type this. Because she is learning that you have to answer the question as it is written not just any old way. Especially, not the prettiful way because prettiful is not actually a word & it annoys your mother. You just have to pass standardized tests--you don't have to like them or max them out. & she is learning that if work is not done during the week, you do it during the weekend. She is also learning that is awesome to do extra work on the material you love (or detest & want to get past) but that you also need to accomplish set tasks. {These lessons will serve you well in life, my child, really. Even as you fuss & hate me because you are doing homework on the weekends or later in the evenings than you want to. I love you & this proves it. Really. It does. Because it is a pain in the keister to go through this with you. & to constantly tell you the same things over & over again. But you are worth it. Good thing I like you, Nat.}
She was a little disgruntled with that concept. But I pointed out to her that is would be problematic if you were an electrician working in a factory {like her uncle} & you spent an excessive amount of time working on the decorative lighting out front of the factory {not like her uncle} but the machine inside {you know, the one that does the actual work the factory exists & was created to do} is down & then you went home early while everyone was sitting around waiting to do their jobs until the machine was fixed. You wouldn't keep that job very long. Nor would you get promoted or a raise. She countered with the idea of working for herself--she would only have to do the work she liked.
Luckily, I had a few ideas about that too. Like Sonja (thank you so much for existing! & making me think of this) & her dyed stuffage. I got to play the what if game with Nat. What if Sonja hates trips to the post office but loves dying the product. I got to ask Nat how long Sonja would stay in business if she posted pix on the internet & sold product with out actually ever mailing it out. Or consistently mailed it out really, really, really late. Self-employed doesn't mean that one doesn't need to accomplish things in a timely fashion. That just because you're setting the goals doesn't mean they don't need to be accomplished or that sometimes you have to crap jobs so you can do the fun stuff.
And then, we tried the pet analogy with her. Pets are a beautiful addition to any family. They still need to be walked & fed & litter boxes cleaned & dog poo scooped out of the yard & oh wait, the puppy you got from the pound was abused & is slow to & regresses a lot& you screwed up the socializing & probably shouldn't have gotten the special needs puppy until you had a regular puppy first but now he's here & a lot of work & worry. Would we get rid of that dog just because he's work? Nope. We love him. Do the kids get to give up education even though it has become challenging & time consuming for them? Nope, sorry. Nat & Rowan haven't got the idea yet that the time & energy they put into their education will enrich their lives just like pet care pays off in the end. Maybe not in love but there will be a significant (positive) difference in their life because they were educated. Not takin a face spiting, nose biting stance to questions is the educational equivalent of picking up dog poo out of the yard. Necessary to the overall goal even if distasteful.
That made them laugh, & we had the eternal crackbaby conversation. "Mom, that's dumb, are you a crack head? Don't be a crackbaby, mom. What are you smoking? Must be pot, pot makes you dumb. D-U-M-B, dumb." Have to love the 10 year chanting T-H-C accumulates in the ber-rain-ain, then the 13 year old starts singing insane in the membrane & putting that song on continuous repeat on iTunes on the school playlist {yes, we do a iTunes playlist for school time, music is good, their choice, I only limit them to no competing playlists & no songs that aren't mutually agreeable, & now no continuous repeating of songs}. Because accumulate was a spelling word. Learning why drugs are bad just gave my kids ways to talk back more effectively. Do I worry about my kids doing drugs? Not so much. Do I worry about my kids using their anti drug & alcohol info & spelling word lists to mock me when I try to argue my point? All the freaking time. & my kids are arguing that education is bad. It makes their jokes just a little more sophisticated. They are not just limited to lighting their farts like cavemen & making poo jokes. They can make plays on words, make veiled superior snooty literary references (okay, okay. so Rowan cites the Fudge books & the Piers Anthony Xanth novels, but hey, you use what you know.) & use the damn computer to annoy me for hours on end. Because they are being educated. How's that for ironic.
I literally spent 45 minutes explaining why Nat had to do the work before I spent 3 minutes explaining how to do the work Friday. Repeat, ad nauseum, ad inifinitum. But we did that with OffCampus last year too. Nat actually ended up opting out of OffCampus the hard way by screwing up the requirements & getting kicked out. (We were going to quit but we kept forgetting to put in the paperwork. Whups.) Have to do it the standard way, if you want a standard response, kiddo. Or get approval to veer from the plan fromt the person who gets to have final say over your goals.
But with WAVA, she is finding it a lot easier to get her record keeping accomplished (OffCampus made it a lot more work for her with less support from me)--I put in her time (my job). & I help her when she's confused & make sure she has accomplished what was required. But a lot of her work she does on her own with no help from me, some things I need to grade but there's also a lot of assessments that are all her--doing online assessments. I mostly only (that phrase is so wrong on so many levels but I love the way it sounds--mostly only) schedule the work she's missing (you need some more Math done, guess you'll be doing it Sat & Sun. just because you did 2 hours worth today, doesn't count for progress just for attendance, you missed too many problems on the assessment). Or make sure she thinks about what she's doing when. Say if we need to travel for a field trip (do the computer work before or after, bring the book work & do that in the car). But the program makes it very easy to point to something & say look, you have to have 11% of your Math mastered & finished by the end of the month & you have 9% done--skip the literature (you've got 15% done) until you are caught up on the Math.
Both kids log on in the morning, check their assignments & start working without me having to help them (I log in & check progress & work & materials for the day). We set up the basement with 2 computers & all their supplies & books. Made monitoring work easier for mum. Rowan has some parent lead classes--like Spelling but really, if the assignment for the day is for him to do the workbook, he logs on, does the workbook then hands it to me to check. He then asks permission to mark it completed. I always let him click the button that says completed even if we do it on my log on--it makes him happy to do it. They decide what they want to do, when. Am I in the mood for Math or Vocabulary? Sometimes it bites them in the butt if they skip it then they want to watch tv (or play video games or hang out with friends) & they don't have everything done. Is your work done? Sorry, do your work first. Did you sleep in 10? Oh well, guess you have to finish up your History after dinner. no video games until schoolwork & chores are done.
The kiddos are really learning that for every action there is an opposite & equal reaction. That every action has a consequence, good or bad. They can see their progress & they respond to getting their goals accomplished (mom, I got 14% of my Math done but I only needed 9% done by the end of the month, give me a high five. dude, I've got wheels). Rowan is funny, there are times when I might be on the phone or helping Nat & he isn't supposed to interrupt but he will raise up my hand so he can high five me & then I am supposed to come back & ask him why later. They are constantly evaluating their work & how they feel about the responses they get to that work.
Both of my children were part of the decision making process when came to their home schooling. They both chose WAVA from at least one or two options. Would they choose it again from the same options? Yes, strangely enough, but don't ask them on a bad day! Ask them on a good day or an okay day. And we are gradually having more of those. We have days where Rowan is doing things like the dead fishie dance. We were learning about pollution in science & doing a reenactment of how fish respond to pollution seemed appropriate to him as an answer to a question {don't ask him about it--he is too cool to do anything but deny it--but it is a memory I will cherish until the day I die, I did almost pee my pants from laughing, though}. My son does the best comic interpretive dances or skits on good days.
We have days where Nat decides that drawing is dumb & the next unit is clay art she busts through 3 lessons in art so she can spend two days working with clay & begs mom to buy more clay for fun. Or where Nat & mom spend time talking about the effect of the Catholic church on history & excesses of the popes & some of the beautiful art in Catholic churches & the beautiful books & the fact that the Christian faith may have had its issues over the years but the handmade books are beautiful enough to make you weep. & monks labored over those handmade books & Gregor Mendel was a monk with a garden. So those bad popes aren't the only thing the Catholic Church brought to our world or helped facilitate. Or when Charlie is drawing an element on a white erase board & he has to have green & red markers because green means go. Or. Or. Or. How much time do most people get to spend with their kids in public school? How many memories do they have like that? I have more now than ever did when they were in public school.
I get to both decry & applaud the actions of some groups. It is hard to be positive about the Germans during the World Wars. It is easy to dehumanize them & demonize them. But I get to talk to my daughter about the how the German military trained before the second world war. (They were very inventive in circumventing restrictions.) & how you shouldn't throw out a good idea just because a horrific monster came up with it. What if Adolf Hitler had come up with penicillin, would you still use it {can you tell I love the what if game}? Tell my daughter that antibiotics saved my life before I was a year old. Watch my daughter's face as she puzzles through that one was amazing. I mean, come on, she won't use animal tested hair care products. Trying to explain that people are rarely wholly good or evil & that we all need to know that we have to choose to be good. That it may not necessarily come automatically to do the right thing.
Okay, so I'm a dork. 45 minute discussion of moral philosophy & ambiguities with my 13 year old daughter after reading about the various excess of some of the Catholic popes was absolutely, positively fun. Talking about the Huns & Hitler really made Nat's head spin. & she came up with some great responses that I might not have thought of myself at that moment in time.
Oh well, at least, Natalie & Rowan know Mom & Dad think education important. & they know Mom & Dad will put the hours into them & their education & that they are a priority for us, if not THE priority for us. And that there are reason,s for the things we ask them to do. But my head hurts something awful on the bad days.
(p.s. somewhere there are typos but now I'm tired & I can't remember where the other typos were. I will come back & fix them so no typo complaints, nor complaints about editing later. I'm too tired & as demonstrated by the last post (where is the actual content by the way, blast & bother) to actually wade through & found the typos I found in the published post. sorry. mea culpa. mea maxima culpa.)
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