self

too funny.

2009-01-09T09:45:00.000-08:00

My new show.

Verbal Orders--it's a book, you'll need a minute or two to read it.

2009-01-09T06:54:00.000-08:00

Hmm. So, this is the beginning of the end of our stay in WA. Verbal orders. As the detailer told Himself, "it's not a guarantee but you can hang your hat on it"--side note: wonder where the man is from. Besides, it's so scary & ambiguous, it must be for sure. ROTC instructor at Ole Miss in Lafayette, Mississippi. Now, dear reader, if you do not know, Lafayette is not a city. It's a county & generally speaking, the Navy refers to the place that one is stationed at by the city. At first, I wondered if the man was confused. I thought he meant Lafayette, LA. But, no sirree, Lafayette, Mississippi.

Moreover, I'd forgotten that Charlie had listed any college in MS in his slate selection!!!!!! He had made his first choice here--because the housing market is so bad & we do have an established life here (I tend to put down roots & get very attached.) as an instructor on Bangor base. Then, there was 15 or 20 ROTC instructor jobs at a variety of colleges all over the states. Then, there was Italy--some call center type job--rotating shift work. & together we had ranked the ROTC jobs. I dare say, Ole Miss was near the bottom. I think we just put it on there because A) it was warm so I could breathe B) closer to family than say Maine or Connecticut C) the cost of living should be low enough to allow us to pay for homeschooling. Uh, sure, OK. We didn't even think it was a possibility because it was so far down the list so we didn't even GOOGLE the college!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if you know me, I have become addicted to random googling, wiking, & imdb.coming constantly).

Okey-dokey, here is what we know. Ole Miss is in Oxford, MS--which is in Northern Mississippi. Roughly, 5-6 hours from both my brother & his wife in Gonzales, LA & 5-6 hours from Himself's folks in Missouri, 7-8 hours from my folks in Pensacola, 2 hours from my Leann (the only woman I have remained friends with for more than a decade--a saint. She calls me every couple of months & if I don't return the call in a timely fashion she starts calling constantly until she gets me. We have two lunch date already set up & a family trip to Tennessee planned for 2010 at their time share & something tells me the husbands are going fishing in August.).

The town has 19,000 people & the college itself has about 17,323 (that's the figure from the website). I'm still wondering if town population includes the students.

But, only 2 hours from my dad's folks. While, I do love my family, these people are a little nutty. Religiously bigoted & not too sane, some of my problems come from that side of the family. They do not believe in therapy--give your problems to God & spank your children into some semblance of normal behavior. A few generations back, they were the sort of people who would have spanked a left-handed child for being left-handed. Ugh--can you imagine? Nightmare. But they are also quirky as hell. I adore some of my aunts because the honestly try "to do the right thing" & while I am not a member of their church they still love me & show me that they love me--even though they quite clearly "don't get me". It's my grandfather & one of my uncles that I never want to deal with.

Ole Miss has a Classics department so I could potentially get my degree--I feel a little nervy but we will have to see. Also, many colleges have a faculty & faculty family discount. That would be nice. But more than likely, I will be still be homeschooling the children. While going to school full time & volunteering for Scouts. I need a nap just thinking about it. Can you imagine, me & the kids with our laptops in between classes? Nat would have to babysit Rowan while I go to class. But something tells me we would probably be dressed every day by a reasonable hour if we had to go to campus with Charlie so we weren't wasting gas. & it would make research papers a breeze for the kiddos.

Hmm, & it's the South so it's conservative. But, it's a college town so it's liberal for the South. I know it's going to be a weird varying dichotomy. Hmm, how to explain. . . when we attend Mizzou there student groups & resources there--the LGBT Resource Center, for example. At Ole Miss, they have the Gay Straight Alliance. Uh, what happened to the lesbians, bisexuals & transgenders? Wow. Not very current or sympathetic with a name like that. There are only about 5 UU congretions in Mississippi but there is one in Oxford. So, I have hope. I would like to be around people with a live & let live kind of spirit.

The also have optional recycling pickup in town & recycling drop off in town. But, no glass. WAHHHHHHHHHH!, & only #1 & #2 of plastic. WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, I'll be fine. Where my folks live, there is no recycling pick up at all. But the town did recently get a reward for the recycling efforts & the town has sustainability links on the official town website. So, they are doing there best & trying to be better. The town even has a tree planting plan, so that's good & there are volunteering opportunities at the recylce center & for tree planting so Nat & I will probably be doing that while we are there.

There is Boy Scouting & Girl Scouting there so hopefully we will find a new troop for each of the kids. The Boy Scout district executive has already responded to my email with information & I know where the Boy Scout shop is--Tupelo, MS & that there is 1 coed Venture Troop in case we can't find a Girl Scout troop. Nat could Juliette & volunteer with a younger troop but have the coed Venture Troop for social purposes. We already know about youth sports as well. Rowan knows that there are building a 75 acre youth sports complex that he will more than likely being playing soccer at the last year we are going to be there.

My family is such a pain. My sister-in-law, whom I adore hope that one day we live next door to each other & share some goats, chickens & ducks together, was the one who pointed out how close my dad's folks are--which freaks me out. My mother-in-law informed me that when she goes gambling in Tunica we are expected to drop everything & come as well. My mom & mother-in-law have already mapped out all the normal family events that we are expected to attend over the year & my mother-in-law mentioned making sure they wait a couple of baby showers & such for me until July or August.

My mother pointed out that Mississippi is predominately black & was worried how my children would adjust. Shoot me, shoot me now. I told her "Mother, do not point it out to them, they won't notice until someone tells them." & I made her promise not to say anything. She went on for a bit so I had to trot out my favorite anti-racist Natalie story. Nat was at a birthday party where she was the only white child & I was the only white adult. Neither one of us noticed until the aunt of the little boy siddled up to me & asked me if I was uncomfortable with us being "the only white folk at the party". I had to stop carrying on with the mother of the birthday boy (who was my friend) to tell her I didn't notice & maybe we should get a picture & send it to my grandfather in Mississippi. And maybe we should get one or two of Natalie hugging Jared & all his cousins. The mom & I were howling while the sister ranted that we weren't taking this serious enough. Whatever. Race should only matter while buying hair care or skin care products or for medical reasons.

I do admit to some worries about the kids adjusting but only because they stand out as a little freaky here for some of their hippie notions or because Nat rags on people for being "ist" be it racist or bigoted against gay people. Nat won't use animal tested-products & picks up litter like nobody' s business. Neither kids are completely in standard gender rolls. Rowan enjoys soccer but isn't gung ho about sports like a lot of boys we know. He tried to watch foot ball & Nascar & got bored because there was a lot of standing around or just driving in circles. & he gets all gushy over puppies & adores the big-eyed animal pix. Nat does not do the girly-girly thing. Ever. & is disdainful of makeup or girls who rave about makeup. We're working on the disdainful thing. She needs to learn to live & let live but I think it's a knee jerk reaction to being hounded by her friends about being more normal.

I don't think any of the above is a problem but I know I've had to defend the kiddos to other parents & argue about traditional gender roles over the past 5 years or so. I had an arguement 2 days ago with my friend about what calendar I bought the kids. Nat got a Halo calendar & I was looking at a puppy calendar for Rowan. I could have bought them both Halo calendars but I like to buy them different ones so they can look at each other's pictures. And my friend was trying to direct me away from the big eyed animal calendar because "it's not very masculine, is it?" I didn't go with it because it had moral issues (one of the month's captions said that the best way to keep a secret is lie through your teeth--Rowan is 10 & not morally evolved enough to make good slipperly slope, morally ambiguous decisions) but I almost bought it & returned it to make a point to her about it not being masculine or feminine.

Plans:
Try & sell the house. Stop laughing, damnit. It's not funny. If not, try to set it up with a rental company to rent it out. On the market in 3 weeks. Joy. Which means, when I've gotten through Traci's 40th birthday party tonight that I have been working on for weeks now, starting work tomorrow to declutter & dejunk the house. Joy. We'll be calling the realtor next week to set up dates for pictures & what not. Then, try to keep the house clean for showings for 5 months.

The house needs to be painted but it's WA & we can't paint it for months. It's 3 colors. Really. And not in a good way. But, I didn't even notice when I bought it. It still doesn't bug me. But, it bugs other people. Charlie would do it himself by waiting for a sunny day & renting the machine but, again, he's going to be at sea.

Did I mention that he should be at sea for most of the preparing to move process? Again. But not the actual pack out & trip across country, at least.

Try & sell Charlie's car which is dying & won't make it across the country. We have to pay to fix it before we can sell it, because the breaks are bad & it's not driveable for any length of time.

Think I'll go take a nap. I'm tired just thinking about this. & Charlie woke me up by giving bad directions to his friend who was coming to pick him up at oh, dark hundred & couldn't sleep after that. Today is going to be long.

Music in my head. Leaking out.

2008-11-02T00:46:00.000-07:00

I can't get this one out of my head. Love it. Love it. LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! watched the show because I own the books by Charlaine Harris & we got free HBO for a year thanks to a Comcast. & now this song is the music score to my life at the strangest times, don't ask, you don't want to know. but must admit this song was playing in my head at the last Cub Scout Pack Meeting when something remind me of Himself. Naughty me. Oh well. But then again, he's the spousal unit so go me. I am totally authorized to think that way about him. Required even.

The opening credits to TrueBlood are a really good piece of work from an artistic sense. I like it. Good tune-age. Good picture/video choices for a show about vampires. A little graphic (gross dead 'possum & decomposing critter--eww, nose crinklingly yucky) but the combination of unsophisticated sensuality & death, decomp & rabid religious fervor--scarily true to the feeling of the show. But I don't usually get impressed by opening credits of tv shows or movies. Okay, pretty much never, once in a blue moon. But damn, that one is impressively memorable & accurate. 'Sides that's the way memories play in my head when I can't sleep at night or I can't concentrate during boring or stressful events. flashes of seemingly disconnected things/events with background music.

Argh. Hate when embedding is disabled but here's the URL for P!nk's SO WHAT. CharlieBoy heard this one first & forced me to listen to it--because it made him think of me. Guess I get a little obnoxious when I embibe sometimes. Suits my mood at times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJZDsJ8UU64

love the guitar on 3's & 7's. this song can drag me up out of the doldrums ever so deep. thanks to my brother Mick for raving about Queens of the Stoneage until I went looking for their music. & to the radio that played this one over & over again until I caught the name.

& then there's our joanie.

somebody tell me why I am so all over the place. country. rock. rap. bagpipes (sorry, kids no emergency bagpipe system have to buy it to hear it. even the preview at iTunes doesn't do it justice. it's the totality for me not the clippage) classical even. my all time fav classical music is Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King:

but do not forget the cello-metal masters Apocalyptica version (sorry but "cello-metal masters" makes me giggle even if I do like their work)--because I like metal dudes especially slim long haired metal dudes with tats & piercings & I love "In the Hall of the Mountain King" so combining them is totally yummy. yeah, art. Everytime I hear something from them. I think "& now for something completely different". I don't usually like remakes or veerage from an art form (me object to veerage, what the? yeah but it's art, I get to have preferences) but when you take what seems totally inappropriate (Metallic) play it on cellos & you are dressed all Metalicious & utterly rock my world with your score, I must pay homage. Or Grieg played by metal dudes with cellos & drums. Well done, you. Do it again & again & again. Yeah, team. Of course the fact that Metallica sounds just as awesome on guitar or in full symphony as well as via the metal-cello music medium actually says something about the gloriousness of the music itself. That it's not just noise, by any standards. You might prefer one offering (say for whom the bell tolls in symponic glory) or another but that you can play the same music in such variety of ways. . . all hale, Metallica, rockgods. I prefer the official video from Apocalyptica:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf2aIVKp1OY

but again with the no embedding. I protest most strongly. so here's an embeddable one:

moment to moment & WAVA (or why mom has no life)

2008-11-01T12:02:00.000-07:00

***ADVISORY. EXCESS VERBIAGE TO FOLLOW. PROCEED AT ON RISK***

I am always so impressed with those people who can live day-to-day. How do they manage. I seem to be reeling moment to moment. I am drained. I wish I could reconnect with all the people I drifted away from over the past year as I try to process stuff & get my kids education on track. I miss you all IRL. Hugs. Thank you for honking at me, Sonja, & then telling me you honked at me. I was seriously freaked at the time because I was thinking very hard when the honking occurred.

I am overwhelmed with my amazing kids & their schooling. No desire to quit. Just wish it would simplify faster. I know how to do math, I understand physics & grammar. But how the hell do you teach them to follow directions & both don't rush things nor dawdle (Natalie & Rowan)!?! & while telling a child there is no right answer in art, trying to explain there is a right & wrong way to do mathematics (you have to have a method that works consistently, Rowan & Natalie, it's not a good method if it doesn't always work), without beating your head bloody on the wall.

We are doing WAVA (Washington Virtual Academy) which is challenging my kids. In a good way. To follow directions. & to stay on task. & to work toward a goal & measure progress towards that goal to accomplish that goal in a timely fashion. I love that the tracking is done online. I love that a good portion of the schoolwork is done online (even if it is just inputting the answers to the quiz online). I love that it is keeping me honest. Good program. I recommend it.

Especially if you are the sort to worry about that sort of thing. & even more so if you are the sort of person who doesn't worry about that sort of thing. It is fixing some of my weakness (consistently staying organized big picture wise, in a reasonable time, "yeah math & science & reading & history & art" is not always a good answer to the questions inherent in homeschooling) while giving me time to play to my strengths (enrichment--they mentioned sinkholes, time to google a video about things falling into sinkholes). I do better when I've got a point to veer from because when you veer without a memorable starting point sometimes the result is great but other times you have gotten so lost you can't find your way home with out a compass, a map, a couple of Boy Scout troops & the freaking Canadian mounties.

I love that it is a mastery based program--understand the work, take a quiz over the various days' materials, get 80% or better, don't worry about doing the pages in the book or other assignments, take the test get 80% or better, move on. or have problems? slow down, you have the time because you zipped through the easy stuff. Rowan is taking the assessments (quizzes) in Math for two days each day, most of the time we're spending maybe 15, 30 minutes a day on actual Math work (we do skill drills & review concepts to do a little more work in Math everyday). We've done the assignments for only one lesson out of the last twenty lessons. He had never been exposed to that method of checking his work. Do I even think that was super important mathematically? Absolutely not, but hey, it doesn't hurt him to learn how to play the game sometimes.

I once had a job where I was require to put the books on the shelf a certain way (sort of alphabetized but also tall books on the outside edge of the shelf short books in the middle, they called it alphapretty) hated the method but didn't want to get a different job or have to deal with being yelled at by boss, so I just did it the way I was asked. Or when I had to learn how to file things in a strange completely counter intuitive way at the engineering company I worked at because I was a temp & they weren't going to change things when I was leaving in 6 weeks, so I just did it the way I was asked. I just did what I had to do to get things done & get along because it wasn't bad just inefficient & idiotic. Guess I don't want my kids to grow up without learning that the games sucks or I'm bad at it so I'm going to go home & sulk (my friend's son is notorious for constant refusing to play any game unless he is good enough to beat either the game, his opponents or else be superior to his teammates. nice, huh? that kid has issues.) Make it work. Or enjoy it for what it is.

But we might spend 20 minutes on one freaking question in Science for Rowan. Why you say? Did he know the answer? Yes, but he doesn't like to write. Ever. For any reason. & he especially doesn't like to give detailed answers in complete sentences. That child is terse. One word answer. Yeah. Multiple choice, okay, as long as he isn't being difficult. Essay questions--you are listening to WWIII in my living room. Or then there was the spelling lesson that had 3 words that violated the ie before e except after c rule & he kept missing those & a couple of other rule breaking words on the assessment so we spent another day practicing those words & retook the test day after that. Poor kid, he was trying not to get frustrated or pissy about it, but he just kept forgetting the words during the actual test & was trying to reason how to spell things (which he is getting really good at lately). We have been working on learning spelling concepts (rules, word families as he calls them) & then to have them violated blew his mind & frustrated the hell out of him.

I know some people unschool & I understand why. But I think that I want my kids to learn that sometimes you just need to learn how to do it (& then do it) unless you have a reason not to. That if you choose to be a part of an organization & you don't object to things on a moral stand point or any other valid intelligent reasoning, that occasionally it is okay to go with the flow even if it seems stupid once in awhile. Do I ever worry that my kids could grow up to be a Hitler youth type if they got sucked into an organization? Going along with the flow & doing foul deeds? Not on your life. Do I worry that they will join something, approve of it, & then become obstructionary to the process so their own personal goals are not accomplished & they are left feeling dissatisfied? All of the time.

My kids are notorious for spending the entire time their friends come over for a playdate planning what they are going to do, but then they feel let down because they never did get around to playing. Or else, they discuss what movie they are going to watch for 60-70 minutes then it is 45 minutes to bedtime & they have to decide to start & not finish the movie or just not watch it. If you really want to effectively show that bs busywork type stuff is lame (I'm responding to my Nat), you need to be able to show your way works in the real world before you go tell the world to go fly a kite. {I wonder sometimes if it is easier to say @#*% you to the world if one can't function it like your average joe (speaking for myself not anyone else).} We are working on being more goal orientated. We already got the whole "dude, it's about the journey not the destination" thing down pretty well. I think a synthesis of the two thought processes might just be a more satisfying lifestyle in the long run.

And sometimes, just because your way is better, but you can't convince the people you need to implement it to work with you, you need to just button your lip & get to work. That some progress is better than no progress. Not always, but sometimes. If you need a group to get something done, you just need to find the best, workable solution for the group, not just an ideal solution. It's not an ideal world, baby girl. I wish it was, but it's not. Save the universe but feed the kids & change the diapers, too.

Hmm, like WAVA. Kids chose it from the options we gave them. It is a way to get something done that we need to get done (school) so we don't have to deal with the legal consequences. It is inherently a more positive experience than negative. It works. So nitpicking & getting bogged down in the occasional minor detail or lesson is both counterproductive & emotionally dissatisfying in the long run. I find myself periodically saying, "shutup & soldier, soldier" It's become my way of saying, "dang it, you got your self into this, the only way out of it is to go through it. stopping whining & get it done"

Which reminds me. Something that pops up into my head as my daughter bitches about doing things systematically or everybody having to accomplish things certain ways to be recognized as having completion or skill. Nat wants to be in the Army (she wants to be an Army interpreter). Uh. Okay. You kind of need to be able to take orders & follow them if you are going to be military. Just a little bit. Or at least, know how to interpret those orders so you don't get in trouble. You also have to be able to function within a certain behavioral standard if you want to be a part of a group that functions in a top down, you-will-conform-or-be-ousted sort of way. Free spirits & the Army. Hmm. Uh. Okay. Sure. Yes, baby girl, you can do any thing you put your mind to if you just work at it. But YOU might have to change yourself to accomplish your goals, not just the world.

I seemed to have managed to raise my kids to question everything (including me) which is biting me in the ass & making the home schooling rough sometimes. It is VERY difficult to explain something when the person you are explaining it to is questioning you through the entire explanation--"Why are you telling me that? I already know that. Explain what I don't know." (Nat) I tend to operate from the theory that you start an explanation from common knowledge & then relate it to the unknown. My kids tend question whether or not the sky really is blue (mom, it's gray, not blue, we live in WA) or even what shade of blue it is when you are trying to talk about the mechanics of the rainbow. That's fine & dandy, five seconds for veerage, then we need to move right along the path to knowledge.

I just wish they would pick & chose their & questions & also learn when it is appropriate to ask a question (are you having trouble in math? are you a day behind in your lessons? write down the philosophical objections to Algebra & using z as a variable {what the hell did z ever do to you that you want to relegate it to the abyss, Nat!?! leave it alone, z is good people, a little neglected but still an excellent letter all the same}--when you are grown & on your own, you never have to do Algebra again or use z as a variable--& debate it over the freaking dinner table not while trying to learn about exponents & the associative & distributive properties & order of operations) so you can pass the test & we can move on the next unit. hell, the next problem. hell, the next line in the simplification of the equation. I want them to question. I really do, but it tends to slow down the learning process when one questions to excess. Just a bit.

That & trying figure out how not to point out the proverbial elephant in the living room when the kids ask me questions. The kids can see the result, but the actual problem? Mom, how do I find such & such in a book? I can't say: it is on the page you're looking at, literally under your thumb. I have to talk about things like how to use an index, or a table of content or the heading of the section. I find myself explaining things to the kids that seem to be how to work the system not how how to learn. Example primus: How to find an answer to a review question at the end of the chapter. That most authors are lazy (or they try to make it easy for you) & they probably flipped through the chapter & then asked the questions in the order the concepts were in the chapter. That's a little confusing. Try this: the answer to question 1 is found first then the question to answer 2 then question 3 & so on in the text. So if you can't find 2 but you already know the answers to 1 & 3 look for the answer to 2 between the answer for 1 & 3. That doesn't always work but it does most of the time. Or if you are looking for the answer to a book sometimes the answer to a question about a map, you should look at the actual map in question & oh yeah, don't forget to read the map key, & that means the entire map key which yes really is a little large for such a small map but it is a really detailed map. Rowan is also notorious for reading out loud the first half of a sentence (yes, it might really be a runon sentence) that contains the answer to the question but not the part of the sentence with the actually answer & then saying I don't get it where's the answer. TURN the page. LOOK UNDER THE PICTURE for the rest of the sentence. FINISH THE SENTENCE. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The boy reads above grade level unless there are nitpicky detailed questions. Ask him the underlying meaning behind something, he'll give you a really interesting, oddball, yet insightful answer (not what 99.999% of the world would answer, but the sort of answer you respond to with wow, I would of never gone there but now that you did I can see why & I am going to have to think about that, very cool, little dude, very cool.). Ask him a question with a specific answer & he will argue that it's a bad question & will give you 5 reasons why that specific answer should be what it is & a better question is XYZ.

Hell, they asked what page some thing was on & he felt like protesting the usage of Roman numerals for the introduction because it made the introduction seem optional or unnecessary & if it was optional or unnecessary they should have left it out entirely but since they left in--it must have a purpose so don't treat it like a second class citizen! so he figured out how many pages were in Roman numerals & added it to the number at the bottom of the page & that was the answer he gave. I shit you not. Anybody else would write "page 25" because that was the page number printed on the page where the answer is found. But Rowan writes "page 42" then verbally discusses the "introductionism" & that prejudice of any sort is bad & he objects to writing "page 25" for the following reasons. . . . Which is fine & dandy but if you have too many morally stance answers to questions or careless mistakes on a six or seven question assessment it's not an 80% & you have to redo the assessment. Which if it is something he gives me & not an online assessment, I can applaud his desire to be fair & not prejudiced agains intros & his out of the box thinking but then I tell him to erase the answer "page 42" & write "page 25" because he knows that it is the answer they want. And if he really objects to the usage of Roman numerals for the introduction then he needs to share his concerns with the author of the book or the editor. & to protest in a fashion that hurts him (delays his free time & prolongs his lesson time) & does nothing to prevent that heinous act from recurring is a waste of his time & mine. & he should not protest in such a useless & comedic fashion if he wants to be taken seriously.

I was really frustrated that day because sometimes it seems like the kiddos didn't want to just look for the answer, they really just wanted me to tell them what it is or just say read this paragraph here. And every class was full of questions like that. On a bad day, they really hate looking up facts to answer questions or any question that involves trial & error. & I just need to keep saying. That one takes a little work. & really, if I just give you the answer, you won't learning anything. Or else, they felt compelled to object to the question & to record the answer based on their moral concerns rather than on what the conventional answer should be. it was an 8 hour school day that day for Rowan & 9 for Nat.

I get their morals stance answers. Really, I do. Hell, I used to attach an extra paper to some tests with a different response to questions because I didn't like the question or I objected to the conventional thinking. But I always put the answer the teacher/text required in the proper location. I had one teacher that used to love my alterna-tests as he used to call them. I had another teacher who would remove the extra paper & trash it write in front of me. Whatever. But I did what I had to do (answer the the questions according to the material), to accomplish my goal (pass the class). While still taking my moral stance.

The first unit tests for the kiddos sucked. The second unit tests improved significantly. Were they actually learning more educational material? I actually don't think they were. I think they were just following directions more & thinking a little more deeply about what they were doing. & actually answering the questions that were asked, not what ever seemed like a better answer to the question. {Rowan stop evaluating & objecting to test questions by answering what seems like a better question to you. I refuse to mark as correct the problem if you only give me the correct answer verbally with the wrong answer written in protest. Sheesh, make the protest verbal, dude. I didn't write either the book or the test. You are only biting off your nose to spite your face. I applaud the ability to find the grammatical problems in the Math book but when did you stop answering the problem correctly on paper? If it is such a problem, write a better text book/test/question or send a letter detailing both your complaint & solution to the curriculum people.}

The fact that they are doing better on tests is good. Really. Even if I feel like the only thing I have in my life is the kids' school or scouts or soccer or rock climbing. I want to do these things I just wish we could knock a few hours a week out of the school schedule for me to have time to myself. The kids are doing better. They are gradually needing less time to get their work accomplished. It's worth it. Really it is. (Can you hear the mantra in my head?) The amount you sacrifice may not give you a greater reward but you are more thankful for that reward. Or at least, that's how I feel. (Can you here the mantra in my head?)

Nat is doing Math right now as I type this. Because she is learning that you have to answer the question as it is written not just any old way. Especially, not the prettiful way because prettiful is not actually a word & it annoys your mother. You just have to pass standardized tests--you don't have to like them or max them out. & she is learning that if work is not done during the week, you do it during the weekend. She is also learning that is awesome to do extra work on the material you love (or detest & want to get past) but that you also need to accomplish set tasks. {These lessons will serve you well in life, my child, really. Even as you fuss & hate me because you are doing homework on the weekends or later in the evenings than you want to. I love you & this proves it. Really. It does. Because it is a pain in the keister to go through this with you. & to constantly tell you the same things over & over again. But you are worth it. Good thing I like you, Nat.}

She was a little disgruntled with that concept. But I pointed out to her that is would be problematic if you were an electrician working in a factory {like her uncle} & you spent an excessive amount of time working on the decorative lighting out front of the factory {not like her uncle} but the machine inside {you know, the one that does the actual work the factory exists & was created to do} is down & then you went home early while everyone was sitting around waiting to do their jobs until the machine was fixed. You wouldn't keep that job very long. Nor would you get promoted or a raise. She countered with the idea of working for herself--she would only have to do the work she liked.

Luckily, I had a few ideas about that too. Like Sonja (thank you so much for existing! & making me think of this) & her dyed stuffage. I got to play the what if game with Nat. What if Sonja hates trips to the post office but loves dying the product. I got to ask Nat how long Sonja would stay in business if she posted pix on the internet & sold product with out actually ever mailing it out. Or consistently mailed it out really, really, really late. Self-employed doesn't mean that one doesn't need to accomplish things in a timely fashion. That just because you're setting the goals doesn't mean they don't need to be accomplished or that sometimes you have to crap jobs so you can do the fun stuff.

And then, we tried the pet analogy with her. Pets are a beautiful addition to any family. They still need to be walked & fed & litter boxes cleaned & dog poo scooped out of the yard & oh wait, the puppy you got from the pound was abused & is slow to & regresses a lot& you screwed up the socializing & probably shouldn't have gotten the special needs puppy until you had a regular puppy first but now he's here & a lot of work & worry. Would we get rid of that dog just because he's work? Nope. We love him. Do the kids get to give up education even though it has become challenging & time consuming for them? Nope, sorry. Nat & Rowan haven't got the idea yet that the time & energy they put into their education will enrich their lives just like pet care pays off in the end. Maybe not in love but there will be a significant (positive) difference in their life because they were educated. Not takin a face spiting, nose biting stance to questions is the educational equivalent of picking up dog poo out of the yard. Necessary to the overall goal even if distasteful.

That made them laugh, & we had the eternal crackbaby conversation. "Mom, that's dumb, are you a crack head? Don't be a crackbaby, mom. What are you smoking? Must be pot, pot makes you dumb. D-U-M-B, dumb." Have to love the 10 year chanting T-H-C accumulates in the ber-rain-ain, then the 13 year old starts singing insane in the membrane & putting that song on continuous repeat on iTunes on the school playlist {yes, we do a iTunes playlist for school time, music is good, their choice, I only limit them to no competing playlists & no songs that aren't mutually agreeable, & now no continuous repeating of songs}. Because accumulate was a spelling word. Learning why drugs are bad just gave my kids ways to talk back more effectively. Do I worry about my kids doing drugs? Not so much. Do I worry about my kids using their anti drug & alcohol info & spelling word lists to mock me when I try to argue my point? All the freaking time. & my kids are arguing that education is bad. It makes their jokes just a little more sophisticated. They are not just limited to lighting their farts like cavemen & making poo jokes. They can make plays on words, make veiled superior snooty literary references (okay, okay. so Rowan cites the Fudge books & the Piers Anthony Xanth novels, but hey, you use what you know.) & use the damn computer to annoy me for hours on end. Because they are being educated. How's that for ironic.

I literally spent 45 minutes explaining why Nat had to do the work before I spent 3 minutes explaining how to do the work Friday. Repeat, ad nauseum, ad inifinitum. But we did that with OffCampus last year too. Nat actually ended up opting out of OffCampus the hard way by screwing up the requirements & getting kicked out. (We were going to quit but we kept forgetting to put in the paperwork. Whups.) Have to do it the standard way, if you want a standard response, kiddo. Or get approval to veer from the plan fromt the person who gets to have final say over your goals.

But with WAVA, she is finding it a lot easier to get her record keeping accomplished (OffCampus made it a lot more work for her with less support from me)--I put in her time (my job). & I help her when she's confused & make sure she has accomplished what was required. But a lot of her work she does on her own with no help from me, some things I need to grade but there's also a lot of assessments that are all her--doing online assessments. I mostly only (that phrase is so wrong on so many levels but I love the way it sounds--mostly only) schedule the work she's missing (you need some more Math done, guess you'll be doing it Sat & Sun. just because you did 2 hours worth today, doesn't count for progress just for attendance, you missed too many problems on the assessment). Or make sure she thinks about what she's doing when. Say if we need to travel for a field trip (do the computer work before or after, bring the book work & do that in the car). But the program makes it very easy to point to something & say look, you have to have 11% of your Math mastered & finished by the end of the month & you have 9% done--skip the literature (you've got 15% done) until you are caught up on the Math.

Both kids log on in the morning, check their assignments & start working without me having to help them (I log in & check progress & work & materials for the day). We set up the basement with 2 computers & all their supplies & books. Made monitoring work easier for mum. Rowan has some parent lead classes--like Spelling but really, if the assignment for the day is for him to do the workbook, he logs on, does the workbook then hands it to me to check. He then asks permission to mark it completed. I always let him click the button that says completed even if we do it on my log on--it makes him happy to do it. They decide what they want to do, when. Am I in the mood for Math or Vocabulary? Sometimes it bites them in the butt if they skip it then they want to watch tv (or play video games or hang out with friends) & they don't have everything done. Is your work done? Sorry, do your work first. Did you sleep in 10? Oh well, guess you have to finish up your History after dinner. no video games until schoolwork & chores are done.

The kiddos are really learning that for every action there is an opposite & equal reaction. That every action has a consequence, good or bad. They can see their progress & they respond to getting their goals accomplished (mom, I got 14% of my Math done but I only needed 9% done by the end of the month, give me a high five. dude, I've got wheels). Rowan is funny, there are times when I might be on the phone or helping Nat & he isn't supposed to interrupt but he will raise up my hand so he can high five me & then I am supposed to come back & ask him why later. They are constantly evaluating their work & how they feel about the responses they get to that work.

Both of my children were part of the decision making process when came to their home schooling. They both chose WAVA from at least one or two options. Would they choose it again from the same options? Yes, strangely enough, but don't ask them on a bad day! Ask them on a good day or an okay day. And we are gradually having more of those. We have days where Rowan is doing things like the dead fishie dance. We were learning about pollution in science & doing a reenactment of how fish respond to pollution seemed appropriate to him as an answer to a question {don't ask him about it--he is too cool to do anything but deny it--but it is a memory I will cherish until the day I die, I did almost pee my pants from laughing, though}. My son does the best comic interpretive dances or skits on good days.

We have days where Nat decides that drawing is dumb & the next unit is clay art she busts through 3 lessons in art so she can spend two days working with clay & begs mom to buy more clay for fun. Or where Nat & mom spend time talking about the effect of the Catholic church on history & excesses of the popes & some of the beautiful art in Catholic churches & the beautiful books & the fact that the Christian faith may have had its issues over the years but the handmade books are beautiful enough to make you weep. & monks labored over those handmade books & Gregor Mendel was a monk with a garden. So those bad popes aren't the only thing the Catholic Church brought to our world or helped facilitate. Or when Charlie is drawing an element on a white erase board & he has to have green & red markers because green means go. Or. Or. Or. How much time do most people get to spend with their kids in public school? How many memories do they have like that? I have more now than ever did when they were in public school.

I get to both decry & applaud the actions of some groups. It is hard to be positive about the Germans during the World Wars. It is easy to dehumanize them & demonize them. But I get to talk to my daughter about the how the German military trained before the second world war. (They were very inventive in circumventing restrictions.) & how you shouldn't throw out a good idea just because a horrific monster came up with it. What if Adolf Hitler had come up with penicillin, would you still use it {can you tell I love the what if game}? Tell my daughter that antibiotics saved my life before I was a year old. Watch my daughter's face as she puzzles through that one was amazing. I mean, come on, she won't use animal tested hair care products. Trying to explain that people are rarely wholly good or evil & that we all need to know that we have to choose to be good. That it may not necessarily come automatically to do the right thing.

Okay, so I'm a dork. 45 minute discussion of moral philosophy & ambiguities with my 13 year old daughter after reading about the various excess of some of the Catholic popes was absolutely, positively fun. Talking about the Huns & Hitler really made Nat's head spin. & she came up with some great responses that I might not have thought of myself at that moment in time.

Oh well, at least, Natalie & Rowan know Mom & Dad think education important. & they know Mom & Dad will put the hours into them & their education & that they are a priority for us, if not THE priority for us. And that there are reason,s for the things we ask them to do. But my head hurts something awful on the bad days.

(p.s. somewhere there are typos but now I'm tired & I can't remember where the other typos were. I will come back & fix them so no typo complaints, nor complaints about editing later. I'm too tired & as demonstrated by the last post (where is the actual content by the way, blast & bother) to actually wade through & found the typos I found in the published post. sorry. mea culpa. mea maxima culpa.)

Movies this week

2008-07-03T11:21:00.001-07:00

our Donavan

2008-07-01T01:02:00.000-07:00

A Donavan story (or two) for those of you who know him. If you don't--Donavan is the 13 neighbor boy who treats me like an extra mom--way too comfortable with me for his own good. But I will support him as his best friend's mom who listens to him & tries to mother him when his mom can't be home as a single parent who has to work to support her boy. Boy calls me up on his cell phone. & wants to ask me what Nat's opinion of Gay Pride was. Now mind you. She is standing next to him & he didn't ask her. WTF?! My first response is "well what did she say when you asked her?" "I didn't". "well you can have my opinion but I can't give you hers since I haven't asked her. I think I know but I think you should ask her" "but you're her mom & kids always have the same opinion as their parents about this sort of thing" "no, Donavan, they don't" "I'm sure you do" "no Donavan I don't. My parents & I stand polar opposites on this one" "no you don't" "yes, we do" "so what is your opinion of gay marriage" "gay pride or gay marriage" "both"

I swear my head hurts every time we talk about anything. I have tried to explain my views on the topic before but it got so hard to explain I had to quit last time. so we finally get to my answer "think of it like this, it's not so much being pro-gay marriage as it is anti-asshole. being mean & picking on people isn't cool" "why don't you like gay marriage" "what's not to like. I object to marriage for anybody being a legal matter. civil unions for everybody with exactly the same rights. the issue isn't just gay marriage. that leaves out the polyamorous. why should the law pick on them too. marriage is a religious rite not a legal institution. civil unions for everybody or maybe something like a household registration process for tax purposes or contract marriages are the way to go to eliminate some of the issues the religious right wing have with gay marriage."

"mom, why don't you like churches" "I like churches that don't pick on people" "mom, why don't you like churches" "I like my church" "mom, why don't you like churches" "Donavan stop talking to me & ask nat her opinion" "fine. whatever. nat how do you feel about gay pride" "what's gay pride" " a protest parade for gay marriage. what's wrong with you, why don't you know this" "well protests are always cool if nobody gets hurt" "what about gay marriage--stop looking at me funny, what's wrong with you" so Nat responds in a really slow loud voice like she's talking to someone she thinks is an idiot "L-O-V-E makes a fam-i-ly" "what's that supposed to mean" "don't be a homophobe" "WHAT's that SUPPOSED to MEAN." luckily at this point I managed to get his attention to convince him to hang up the phone. so I got to miss the rest of a really long conversation. (PS I should add that our Donavan was talking about this because he was going to go march with his mom & her coworker & he is very involved & mentally engaged with this issue because his aunt is a lesbian--he's not actually homophobic, he just has a weird way of supporting her sometimes. usually by picking a fight with someone who agrees with him anyway.)

Then there is tonight. Nat gave Donavan some lotion that triggered my asthma & she told him to put it on at home. Not mentioning that it was a trigger for my allergies because she forgot that he didn't know. So Donavan being Donavan put it on immediately because she told him to wait. Because he is just that way, stirring up trouble, but not knowing that it was going to make me sick because he has a good heart & wouldn't want to be evil that way. So I of course have an attack. & it's a bad one & Donavan freaked out. Nat calmly asks me "is your inhaler in your purse?" as she calmly picks her way (I'll explain this in a second) across the room. Rowan looks up from his video game "Don't die, mom" I start laughing which is so not good for my asthma. Donavan starts to freak out. "don't you care if mom dies, don't make her laugh, you'll kill her" which of course makes me laugh even harder. I am having a little trouble getting the attack to stop but I didn't pass out before we got it settled so no harm no foul. but Donavan was a little hysterical. just a little. I guess it was the first asthma attack of mine he'd seen & he knew he had caused to happen.

I kid you not, he jumps up, the bottle of hand lotion & attempts to run across the room with it. I say attempts because I have the dining room furniture in the living room so I can shampoo the carpets. & we've been doing laundry so the sock basket is in the middle of the floor. He trips falls & lands in the sock basket stands up covered in them (because we gave up fabric softener for my eczema & static cling is the rule) staggers to the front door. Throws it open & it bounces back to hit him in the head, so he throws it open again & chunks the bottle of hand lotion out the front door as far as he can go. at one point he is pulling the hair on his head with both hands. then he is rabidly washing his hands in the sink in the kitchen to get the smell off. he got so upset he ended up crying & my two are trying to tell him it happens all the time, sure this was a bad one but it happens all the time.

He is convinced they are heartless & cruel. poor Nat, she was so calm "are you okay? Donavan, calm down, you are making her laugh". so Rowan tries to explain it to him. "in Boy Scouts they train you to be calm--stop & think dude" I swear Donavan needs a shirt that says "when in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream & shout." because he did "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! what do we do! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! what do we do!". it was such a farce--like a sitcom or something. I finally had to kick them out of the house so I could stop laughing so I could breathe again. & the funniest thing of all was the fact that Donavan has asthma & he didn't know what to do if it wasn't him.

I feel sort of bad for laughing at him--especially when he was crying because he killed me--I was already dead & I just didn't know it yet etc. etc. etc. literally crying. He just couldn't stop babbling & everything that came out of his mouth was hysterically funny. poor nat had to calm him down while fetching my inhaler & a glass of water because I coughed my throat raw. She had to help him wash his hands because he was having trouble figuring out how to get the soap out of the container. & Rowan kept saying "deep breath, dude, deep breath"--not even bothering to stop his video game.

Finally when it was all over & I let them back in the house for dinner. the kids were trying to teach Donavan how to be calm. Nat told him "first you stay calm. REALLY, really calm" (which is why I keep saying calm) "why didn't you run for the inhaler" "you mean trip & fall in the socks because they were in the only open space because of the table & chairs running to the inhaler" "rowan, dude. your mom was sick why didn't you care." "one nat was getting the inhaler--how many did she need she only has one mouth. two if you aren't needed to help--you stay out of the way. three I was sitting by the phone in case I had to call 911. duh. four, somebody needed to be ready to help you when you hurt yourself being a spaz. five I didn't want to get stepped on by you--you're too big, you'd hurt when you stepped on me" Poor, poor Donavan. He was so upset. Then he got a lecture in proper behavior from Rowan. Including a special demonastration of panic breathing, the kind that calms you down.--um, as in the sort of breathing they show women doing on child birth classes on sitcoms (he-he-hoo, he-he-hoo). this is my day. take out the topic add new drama or entertainment shake it up & start all over again with a new & interesting way to entertain the neighbors. welcome to my life.

(side note: I'm fine just a little tired. one more episode a little later where I used my inhaler again but I'm fine now. I also took some benadryl for the allergies the stuff gave me too.)

Guilty Pleasures: Manga

2008-06-30T23:43:00.000-07:00

Or, rather, to be honest, I should say pleasures that should be guilty but aren't. So I'm being a good mom & enjoying myself at the same time. Nat wants me to check out anime & manga for her. So I am having to preview stuff for her. It's getting easier all the time. Blasted child refuses to stay a child. But that's okay, just weepifying for the mum whose little girl is getting big. So things I have read lately so my baby girl can read them too.
So far this one is pretty comfortable for me. I'm enjoying it too.
A little silly. But now I know Urd. So yeah.

This one is a little rougher for me. It talks about some truly offensive things in the most outrageous way. But I keep telling myself, you can't keep them a baby forever & we've been dialoguing--because she had already heard about stuff from other kids. So instead she gets to read the iffy eww! stuff & we get to talk about it. Because, the truth is she would get her hands on it no matter what & this way I have more control over how much exposure she gets to stuff. Slower than otherwise. & I get to make her talk to me about things.

But for myself, I howl, absolutely howl. It is outrageous to the point of hysteria. I should really be ashamed of this one. I learned a new word--twincest. eww! but funny. Just when you thought it was safe to read graphic art. Graphic as in drawn not as in porn

It's been interesting lately. I keep having conversations with idiots. I had some idiot who was lecturing me on all anime being porn (my response was "so is Pokemon porn? if so why do they get to run it as a kid's cartoon") & when I tried to tell the guy that I don't let my kids see hentai; (yes I know that isn't the right japanese term but that's the one I think you should use in English) he thought I was horrible. Because he didn't know the difference. I'm sorry but if you don't know the difference between anime & hentai or even something like shojou, shounen, seinen, seijin or yaoi & yuri you don't get to yell at me (hey, I don't know enough japanese to my shame to be able to tell you if those words are declined right, but you have to know more than I do to yell at me & to be honest if your opinion differs I probably won't listen if you're rude anyway). Also, once I tell you I preview stuff for my kids including regular movies & books & authors--you don't get to fuss at me unless you spend a little time to figure out exactly what I mean by that. an arbitrary rating by people I don't know isn't something I trust.

Jack Black

2008-06-14T18:33:00.000-07:00

the incomparable Took my boys (Rowan, Sean & Evan) to see "Kung Fu Panda"

Call me Super Mom for taking the boys out.. But to tell the truth, I thought it was cute. I would buy that one. Ooh, previews are evil. Now I want to see "Wall-E"

Next, I need to take Nat & Tori to a movie. We haven't decided what. Solo time for each kid. Including time for me to spend with each kid & their best friends. Not much mom time because I keep getting sick. Fever means no visiting any preggers or mums with young babies. Wah! I want out!

Rowan just got over Fifth's Disease. So glad I didn't go see Sonja like I wanted--he was contagious! Ugh. I'm so paranoid about Fifth's Disease & preggers that I didn't let our Kelly drop fundage off to Nat for house sitting.

Sea-widowed again.

2008-05-17T01:41:00.000-07:00

So himself is gone. For a patrol (which equals months for the non-Navy types)

& so far I have bought a

via the internet. Not to worry, not to worry. We had been planning to use our economic stimulus check for this. Am I happy about it? no, not really. He & the kids wanted it. But he also wanted to sell the PS2 which is nigh to crapped out (can't sell it) & the games are starting to look bad. I'd rather keep it as long as possible & let the kids play it until it dies. Personally, I think I would have preferred a

which plays Blu-ray. (I am such a technophile!) But I think I'm the one who picked the PS2 & if this relationship is going to be fair, I can't be the one who always pick things.

And I have an appointment for Thursday at a tattoo artist at noon. Very exciting. I can't wait for my trampstamp.

I've been thinking. I'm glad I can't see the sea from the house. I think I would be stuck staring at it during patrols. Part of me wanted to head up to

a.k.a. Pirate Park a.k.a. Salsbury Park & stare at the ocean during the glorious weather. I'm glad I resisted the urge both today & when the boat left. I don't think it's such a good idea. Maybe when he comes home I'll go. To be honest, I wasn't feeling so hot & running my errands wiped me out. But I wanted to just go & zone out staring at the water. I miss him. Things have been so different lately. Better, maybe, I don't know. But the house is so quiet, now. No snores.

We're trying to pick the movies for Nat's movie birthday. I am trying to convince her to let me buy the first 3
Indiana Jones movies then take all of her friends to see the new one

I think that would be fun. But the final decision is hers. It's her 13th birthday & her countdown is driving me crazy. I wouldn't mind so much if she wasn't telling me 500 times a day. But I'm glad she is looking forward to it. It makes me feel so old. My oldest a teenager & my youngest a decade old. Ugh. good thing I like those demonspawn of mine. big party much friends, loud brats. should be awesome. just wish himself could be here. I know he was upset to be missing her 13th birthday. Such is Navy life. He did order her a gift just from him from Amazon. she has decided they'll go for chocolate ice cream from Baskin Robbins, just the two of them, when he gets back.

I took Nat out to lunch, just the 2 of us the other day. I took her to the

I think it's good to hang out with the kids one on one. So they each get mom time & dad time without having to compete for our attention. Not that it's a competition but I get the impression they think it is sometimes.

Gentle thoughts to all I've not seen for a bit. Hugs all'round.

Okay so I am almost ashamed of this one.

2008-05-14T00:22:00.000-07:00

But not really.

update me.

2008-04-21T21:58:00.000-07:00

bullied a child in a futile attempt to steal her birthday present the other day. didn't work. she laughed at me but loaned me the book anyway.

Here's the child.The one in the middle--Tori.

Here's the book.

I wanted to read the book today but couldn't find it. Why you ask? It was stolen from me by yet another child (the one on the left who wouldn't open her eyes). This one who is nearly as tall as I am--with in 1 or 2 inches. Good thing I like her. I would have had to hurt her otherwise. Stealing a book from me? She tried to hide it when I snuck up stairs during her lunch to see if she had it. But I'm good. & I stole it back. & now I am going to hide it from her when I'm not reading it.

My latest Random Ed project (Random Ed is my name for the things that my kids probably wouldn't be learning at school but are just too fun or interesting not to spend some time on) is Political Protest Songs. Having a conversation with my girls (Nat & Tori) on the way home from Girl Scouts & we were listening to my latest mixCD. & we were talking about Handlebars by the Flobots.

so my baby girls & I decided that we want me to make them a mixCD of my favorite political protest songs. The first ones I've come up with (not done yet though) are:

Handlebars Flobots
Fortunate Son CCR
This Land is Your Land Woodie Guthrie
99 Luftballoons Nena
Born in the USA Bruce Springsteen
Sunday Bloody Sunday US
War Edwin Starr
Blowing in the Wind Bob Dylan
Alice's Restaurant Masacree Arlo Guthrie
Ohio Crosby Stills Nash & Young
Imagine John Lennon
War Pigs Black Sabbath
All She Wants to Do is Dance Don Henley
Turn, Turn, Turn The Byrds

Killing in the Name of Rage Against the Machine

The last one is a bit explicit for 13 year old girls so I think I'm omitting it for now. Still trying to decide what else I want to add in.

The next mixCD will be random songs:

Fish Heads Barnes & Barnes

Shiny Happy People R.E.M.

Birdhouse in Your Soul They Might be Giants

Any suggests? For either list? I'm almost having as much fun looking for songs for them as I did talking about them with my girls.

I am going away with them this weekend. It was supposed to be a mother/daughter weekend but Traci needs to stay home to meet a forgotten commitment. So I am taking the girls to the Olympic National Forest's Quinault Lodge http://www.visitlakequinault.com/ to do a Volunteer Vacation http://www.visitlakequinault.com/specials/index.cfm . We're going to listen to some lectures (global warming, endangered species, that sort of thing) & then we're going to clear trails of flood damage from the December storms. How fun is that? Actual--I'm really excited about it other than the fact that Traci can't go.

Comcastic.

2008-03-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

Ever notice that somethings that are the biggest pain in the keister are the most rewarding in the long run? We orignally had (I might be off by 1) 5 visits from Comcast when we first moved to WA--we went with Dish Network) this time it took 3.

Exhibit Q, Z,

V, W, & X (because they're the neglected letters--A, B, C, D, & E get too much air time).

But so not talking about the fandamily. Talking about cable, phone, & internet with Comcast. So we switched from Dish to Comcast. We already found 2 new channels for himself. History & Military. We've got On Demand movies. We are sitting here watching "Johnny Mnemonic" & the kids watched the "Garfield Movie". Tomorrow "The Rocketeer & Tuesday "Uncle Buck"

Talking about phone. I now have Caller ID & Call Waiting.

I have a guaranteed price not a commitment for years of service to get a better price. & for a cheaper price. I guess somebody forgot to tell Dish that customer service is something the company does not something the customer does.

Even if it took as many visits as it did for Comcast to get started, I think we'll be happier in the long run. So yeah, for cheaper & more stuffage.

Things you can think? Reality tv.

2008-03-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

Ever watch Extreme Home Makeover? Himself loves it. I try not to watch it because it makes me cry, every time--but if it's on, it's a train wreck. I can't look away. I am such a sap. I love seeing the solutions to problems that are basically sucking away quality of life from some people.

But it always made me think. What do I think, you say? Taxes. Income, real estate. How do the people who can't afford to fix their houses pay for it? But luckily I am addicted to Google. yeah, me! I can type in a word or a combination of words & read.

I leave it as an exercise for the reader.

Thinks you can think--earthships? Earthships!

2008-03-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

So this is the latest thought that is chasing around in my brain. Earthships.

http://earthship.net/

Love'em. Love'em. LOVE'EM. But I want a dryer. Want 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, want extra rooms (library. crafthall. workshop.). Is the limit of size the limit of necessity or the limit of "omigawd, my arms freaking hurt, this thing is done!"

(Have to love the goat sounds in that one & the goat audience at the end.)

That's the think I keep thinking. Or maybe it's cost? Hmm. must research more.

Eventually we'll have to get the books:

http://www.amazon.com/Earthship-How-Build-Your-Own/dp/0962676705/ref=pd_sim_b_title_4
http://www.amazon.com/Earthship-Systems-Components-vol-2/dp/0962676713/ref=pd_sim_b_title_2
http://www.amazon.com/Earthship-Evolution-Beyond-Economics-Vol/dp/0962676721/ref=pd_sim_b_title_3

maybe I'll see if I can't get them from the library. (Volume 1 is now on hold as I type.)

the guy in here

made a great point. Sustainable technology is a much easier sell when it is comfortable & attractive. I do not want a cob home. Ewww.

My brother Mick (who I really get along with) wants to do the earthship thing too, along with his nifty wife Stephanie (whom I also really get along with. We were talking about building Earthships next door to each other on 5 acre plots & pooling a common garden & sharing some chickens & goats, me learning to spin the bloody hair into yarn for my knittery, Steph with her pottery. Steph is also a pre-vet student, so, yeah for medical care for all the beasties. Wish we could find enough other nut jobs to build by us too with the whole sustainable technology thing. Yeah, hippie township.

But I am not giving up my Roomba or other geek toys. but I totally want the solar, wind, hydro thing going on so I'm not paying for my sins too much. local ordinances prohibiting non-sustainable living quarters. would be awesome. You could try & fail but you couldn't not try.

Positivity. Music in the back of my head. Ecce! (word of the week)

2008-03-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be postive if it kills me. Really. I'm not kidding. Call me Polly-f*cking-anna. Speaking of which, I need to watch that again.

It's probably a good thing I'm not telepathic. The music I love would probably be considered torture because the songs echo repetitively, obsessively, randomly in my head. & sometimes the music doesn't jive with the action on screen.

Ecce! Nat started Latin yesterday. & the girl is totally sitting under the tree. et puella sub arbore sedet. plene. & reading. et legit. Yeah. I had a copy of Ecce Romani I laying around so we're using that for now. Rowan will start with Minimus either this summer or next year or next week. It depends on when I figure out what the little rugrats did with it.

game on.

2008-02-14T10:40:00.000-08:00

foul, I say, I cry you, MOST FOUL. Actually there is 6 books stacked up on the end table beside me. & so, I chose the one I am currently in the midst of. not the first in the series still unshelved beside me (it's hardback & I am using it as a writing surface as I correct the chilluns' work.) or the next four waiting to be read. Oh, well. enough procrastination, the desire to hid the fact that I am currently in need of comfort reading--mind numbing sensationalism with a horrifically magical twist.

. . . Vampires, for obvious reasons, didn't pray a lot. I mean, who was going to answer? Oh, yeah, there was the Church of Eternal Life, but they were more a humanist religion, sort of New Wavey. I'm not sure they talked much about God. . .

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open it to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence/ phrase.
4. Blog the next four sentences/ phrases together with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig your shelves for that very special or intellectual book.
6. Pass it forward to six friends.

I'm just glad we don't have to admit what book it is & anybody who recognizes my "trash" (as schnauzer boy calls it) has to admit to reading the book & remembering it. (of course, I just admitted to having the entire series because anyone who knows me & my reading habits knows I'm a complete-ist & knows if I have one, I have all or I am in the process of securing all)

this has been flung at me by the beloved Kira & I am flinging at some of you lot. Can I find six? probably not but I shall attempt.

er. & fail.

http://parity13.blogspot.com
http://3wildflowers.blogspot.com/
http://www.neferstie.com/

If somebody is reading this that I don't know of--comment & I shall add you to the flinging of the ink.

(ooh, for those who might recognize the series I am quoting from, did y'all notice that the next one is due out in June--June 3rd to be exact?!!!!!!!!!!! I like my "trash" what can I say & in my defense, I got hooked on the series before it went smuttirific, partially because of the local interest & partially because it was a good horror read. Now, I've got an emotional attachment to the characters & I can't stay away. I have to know what comes next. Now, if the author just doesn't go all Lackey, I'll stay true to her but if she goes to commercial I fully intend to abandon her to her just deserts.)

dang it, they're multiplying.

2008-01-01T22:25:00.001-08:00

& growing additional appendages. what's next? clothes. hmm. . . I admit
nothing.

Here's my mixed fiber dress bodice. I need to hook up with my model (she's like 3) & figure out
whether or not the straps are long enough or if it's a good size around the waist for the age. Once I do that I'll repeat it in the same size & down a size. Then I have this cute lavender colored fabric to sew on the bottom for the skirt.

raverlry.com & little alien dudes.

2008-01-01T01:38:00.000-08:00

having found ravelry.com a knitting community (with links to patterns & WIPs of many & & &) & having fell in love with it--a must see kind of place. these are the first two finished projects that I began & finished. I omitted smiles & made 2, so they don't get lonely. I might just have to make more. because they work up quickly. Charlie cut out the eyes & glued them on while I sewed on the feet.

Zack's (my nephew) sweater

2007-12-23T11:57:00.000-08:00

This one I am really proud of. Not that it's especially well done. It's just the first knitting project I've finished in months. It's been sitting waiting for the sewing up. It's done, it's mailed. It is no longer hanging over my head screaming imprecations. Instead it is warm fuzzy bunny feeling. Yeah me.

global orgasm for peace

2007-12-21T05:07:00.000-08:00

http://www.globalorgasm.org/

I'm just saying.

Science, iffy. As in, I saw none quoted after perusing the site.

But, who cares? Points for overall joy-joy feel goodedness. I'm thinking that maybe if more people had satisfying sex the world would be a happier place. So go out there--er, stay in there for peace. or at least have a laugh because somebody somewhere thought this was a good idea. Random event generator people, today, you're my heroes.

funny

2007-12-16T20:39:00.000-08:00

Natalie & Charlie both recognized the sounds of Chewy without seeing the title.

Either I'm a Gemini or I'm bipolar.

2007-12-15T22:31:00.000-08:00

Regardless, I am such a dichotomy in action. In just about everything I do & say. Take 2 of my favorite Xmas songs.

exhibit A the anti-carol "Father Christmas" by the Kinks covered by OK Go--I love YouTube! I hadn't heard this in forever. I need to play this for Nat but she's in bed right now.

exhibit B the overly commercialized carol "Santa Baby" by Earth Kitt my innerfeminazi cringes at how much I love this song.

It's midnight & I'm hungry.

2007-12-04T00:09:00.000-08:00

But that's not why I'm blogging. I'm blogging because I just finished listening to lovelines (going to have to stop doing that) & a song came on & it has been getting stuck in my head. It's the first time I really thought a song was noise. Pure crap. Repetitive puerile & annoying. I think I've gotten old. I sort of want to cry or at least crank up my Violent Femmes & other loud rowdy stuff. I got a headache from it that went away within a minute or two of it going off the radio. The best part was they went to the Femmes & I was so relieved to hear Blister in the Sun because it was real music. Tell me the truth I'm getting old. Don't lie to me. I have to know. Here's the song that I hate:

Sex ed as it should be. . .

2007-12-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

. . . catchy tunes. dancing condom costumes made out of posterboard.

advisory this is at least high school level there is one brief cartoon drawing that might be considered offensive.

No, wait, I am in love again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

This one is hot. He is sleek. He cleans floors. I have lusted for him for years ever since I became aware of him. He has a delicious techyum kind of vibe. Meet Anubis--our new iRobot Roomba.

Think I'll buy Scoomba next time himself goes to sea.

Check out my boys they did a skit called Farting Dog (because fart humor is the best when you are a 9 year old boy) at the last Cub Scout pack meeting. Sorry about the dark pictures. Enjoy!

sometime you just have to poke fun. . .

2007-11-28T08:13:00.001-08:00

. . . at the nasty homophobic types.

I am in love!

2007-11-26T22:42:00.000-08:00

the only thing cuter than this guy is his kitty.

fragmented

2007-11-25T12:01:00.000-08:00

I'm a little fractured right now. A certain adult female in my life who shall remain nameless chose to call & be rather antisocial to me while drinking with another adult female. I think I've moved beyond caring about what they said--even though it was worth 5 years of therapy. But the fact that I had trouble being mean back is bugging me & the fact that I know I will forgive at least the one for being mean drunk party girl & purposely selecting me to be their verbal punching bag--not because they deserve it but because I can't hold the rage & I need to forgive them for me & my beliefs. I'm planning on writing them a letter detailing why what they said was wrong, cruel & they should have never done it drunk or not. & I am so not talking to them for a few months. But if they weren't family (whether by choice or blood, I shan't say), I could walk away & forget them. But the reason they could be so effective in hatefulness was how well they know me. A person outside of my life & not an integral part of my life couldn't have even known the boundaries were there to step over them. Using my sexuality, my past & my beliefs against me for malicious drunken amusement. Some of which I had not chosen to discuss with them in any detail--even if they could tell.

I am not ashamed of my choices & will discuss things quite honestly & openly in an appropriate forum. I am comfortable with my alt religion & my mildly kinky side (just a few sprinkles of flavor, not enough to interest anybody other than my spouse) & the things I've experience over my lifetime. I am just angry that they chose to target me because my philosophy made it easy to be mean to me. I am going through a phase where I am trying to shift from passive-aggressive to assertive & not having to go all the way into being aggressive verbally when I'm angry. I want my conflict resolution to be non-violent communication in form but that doesn't mean I am a human punching bag or rug to be walked upon. A sex positive philosophy & religious tolerance & having made peace with an abusive past are not topics for humor, drunk or not. They are a reason for pride & joy & I will not let them take it from me. I will not allow them to push me back into the place where the only answer for rudeness is rudeness. I don't want to be like that. & I won't. I'm also angry that less than a day later I am already trying to see their side & move on. But I don't think they deserve it.

I wish himself was not at sea--I don't think it would have upset me so bad if he had been here. But I am blessed with caring, supportive friends who are helping me deal.

Sometimes it really is the other person. This seems to be the theme of the season. Usually, I think conflicts are caused through miscommunication &/or lack of knowledge & understanding. But I don't think so this time. They knew what they were doing. & they knew better--because you should never say the things they said. Therapists spend years saying the opposite to abuse victims & they knew that. Even if they thought I could take it & not be devastated by it--they still shouldn't have said it. What they said isn't bugging me as much as why they said it & the fact that they targeted me & who they are.

Drunk is not an excuse.

It is not okay.

OK Go--no really OK Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-24T12:53:00.000-08:00

Meet OK Go. the band. dancing in the backyard. who I adore. I've such grace, I've such beauty. fishnets & malice. A Million Ways to be Cruel.

why my I can't keep my kids on a schedule

2007-11-19T23:05:00.000-08:00

I seem to think that classic cinema is enlightening. why I don't know especially when I'm talking about the following movie. It is now 23:07 & there is another 43 minutes to go. what are we watching you say? let me give you a hint:

that's right it's drumroll, please.

flash gordon.

it offers so much opportunity for dialogue. if you're ever in that circumstance, do this or that so you're not the girlygirl squealing & not defending your friend be the girlygirl who colorcoordiates your weapons & armor. lol. they can learn so much from it. the sad thing is. I actually mean that. I grew up on scifi/fan & I don't think it hurt me. I grew up thinking if the hero comes to save the heroine locked in the tower, the least she can do is throw the chamberpot at the guard & try to take apart the whole tower in search of MacGuyveresque weapons. Like when Princess Leia strangles Jabba the Hut with her slave chain.

in response to kira's kitties

2007-11-18T20:25:00.000-08:00

I love J-Pop. dress like an anime character. & sometimes sing a song where you randomly shout things from another language--English.

example A: Kotani Kinya Spicy Marmalade (I swear it sounds like he yells how'd you get so marmalade at one point.)

then there is

example B: smile.dk butterfly imagine if you will, (those of you who know our Donovan) Nat Row, Donovan & I dancing around the living room mimicking the chicks. this is not beautiful music, it is repetitive & it gets stuck in your head. I love the animation from a sheer joy-joy perspective. But if you have ever danced around the room with children to it having, watched it about 50 times, it suddenly becomes glorious. I heart (make appropriate hand gestures at this point as evidenced by the cornrowed non-samurai-ist chickie babes) me some samurai.

& things from long ago to love

2007-11-18T12:56:00.000-08:00

Redheads, yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In all their technicolor glory.

Other loves

2007-11-18T12:28:00.000-08:00

not to be ist. let's share our love for the not Indian

RSS feeds

2007-11-18T11:30:00.000-08:00

Ever think you've found the holy grail? I haven't got eternal life but I suddenly have more time.

I have finally taken the time to get the hang of this RSS feed thing. Did you know that you can set up to have all your readalicious blogs come to one page so you don't have to forget to check them? Dang it, why didn't you tell me? You know how clueless I am! Anyhow. I've got all my blogs set up except 1, which I always have trouble remembering where it is & it is a pain to search for, as of about 2 days ago. I just didn't want to list it on my blogs because it is about out there. er, okay more than a bit. but it makes me giggle when it doesn't make me wince. I'm off to go & find it hopefully.

because an obsession is never a bad thing.

2007-11-16T01:57:00.000-08:00

something that made me weep

2007-11-16T00:29:00.000-08:00

so I am a sentimentalist. but for some reason, I think love should have no limits, no boundaries, no rules except as the heart dictates. (love being an emotion that causes you to care more for the happiness loved one than your own happiness) It has no shape or form. & people who legislate try to force their beliefs on others are cruel--it's unnecessary why go a-poking in the bedroom of two consenting adults? I read complaints from both sides of the fence on this one that I thought were wrong & and I want to argue with each & every one of them. But instead. I think it stands on its own. All I know is, I can not even think about this video without tearing up.

I still heart me some Prabhu Deva

2007-11-15T17:13:00.000-08:00

the comedic genius of it all but then there are moments of silence in the noise. a moment of beauty if the chaos of laughter. Sometimes my breath catches & I sigh. It's the mating display of stag for doe, a peacock's strut. There's a purity in watching music videos in another language that watching something in English can't compare with. I have no idea what they are saying & I revel in just the sound of the voices & musics then I desperately wish I knew what they were saying even though what I imagine is probably better. I always smile when I watch my crazy Indian music videos. I heart me some Prabhu Deva (imagine the hand to brow or fanning of the blushing cheeks). Dance, Kali, Dance. (this might make no sense to anybody but one person, you know who you are--kiss, kiss--& no I won't explain to those of you who aren't the one person)

just beautiful & had to share.

I heart me some Bollywood

2007-11-15T16:35:00.001-08:00

Oh the manic, excessiveness of it all. when Mephistopheles was down with the plague, I spent the hours it took to log onto to YouTube & watch this repeatedly & force my children & Traci's family to watch it.

I heart me some Prabhu Deva--the way he moves it's so impressive yet so not sexy even though as well as he moves--it should be. Girlish giggles suffuse the air whenever I watch this.

why can't there be more people changing their clothes (& coordinating it with everyone around them) & dancing in the streets & field of the world? the world would be such a beautiful place if we are on island time & we saw this in everyday life.

I have listened to the song about 4 times today just hitting repeat as I type to stay in the mood.

things to share. . .

2007-11-15T16:04:00.000-08:00

that I couldn't even get to save as a draft when Mephistopheles had the plague. Now he's just got the flue. . .

so I am going to post a series of things that evoked an emotion one way or another over the past two months.

viral love, it must be shared.

posting drafts

2007-11-15T15:15:00.000-08:00

so I've decided to go ahead & posts some drafts that aren't finished due to photos or what not. They are really really old because I've crawled in a hole for a bit & had a little trouble finding my way out. I was probably lost. big surprise there. me lost as usual. luckily Traci & my girls from playgroup are helping me dig myself out. But part of the reason I fell into that cave is 'puter frustrations. I have actually tried to post quite a few blogs over the past 2 months but Mephistopheles (the 'puter I usually use) is buggy as hell & I can't see to get it working just right. Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will add the other pix in later that are missing in a fresh post. If I remember, if I don't & somebody wants to see & they ask me I will do it. I just get a little forgetful most of the time.

I've been feeling off lately. I've been sick a lot with stupid illnesses that aren't very serious by are sort of draining when you add them all up. But also I've been moody so I sort of shut down. Of course the first reason didn't help with the second. But the second would have happened no matter what.

Himself is fussy about work (less so now than before as he finally finds his footing) & driving me insane. But now that he's less cranky, he's been in & out going to sea so we haven't really been able to reconnect very well. It's all very well & good to make up except for the fact that sometimes I don't hear from him for days. Not his fault but I miss him.

but onto better things:

Pix!

Halloween:

I am going to post the pix I took so you can see why I don't usually bother taking pictures.

So the three girls are Nat (my baby girl) Tori (my beloved Traci's daughter) & Ani one of Tori's friends. They went trick or treating with a group of kids in Tori's neighborhood which deadends & has so many children of so many ages going trick or treating that it looks like a neverending population boom. They had a blast. I felt good about letting her be responsible (i.e. go without me, scary much) in a safe environment as well as scared that she's growing up.

This one is Rowan & Sean (also my Traci's boy) they went with their dads

& Evan Sean's little brother. Traci & I stayed in & drank beer & handed out candy & giggled & gossiped & bitched about this & that. Which I needed.

And these are the new boots Nat got today. She's been going to the orthodontist with a friend of mine lately who's got some young kids to help out (Valerie). & Valerie had shown up at my house for a playgroup wearing boots just like that Natalie adored. So when Valerie offered to take Nat to Fred Meyer to pick up a pair for herself after the ortho appointment, I said yes. Nat got her $ together to buy the boots & was looking forward to it all morning before she left. It was so cute. When she came home, she told me that Valerie wouldn't let her pay for them. Now, Nat needs to get her Red Cross Babysitter Training before she can collect $ for watching babies & the last couple of times we tried to take her & her friends it didn't work out. So Valerie has been wanting to do something for Nat. Otherwise I'd be PayPal-ing her the $. So I told Nat that & that she should just be thankful & everytime she wears the boots she should think about Valerie & the girls & take a moment to think happy thoughts their way. I never learned to accept gifts well. I hope Nat does.

update on me

2007-09-16T05:12:00.000-07:00

I have back posts sitting in draft form waiting to be finished with pix. will post them out of sequence this week.

I had vertigo for a week 1/2, thankfully not more. it's like it never happened except for the fact that I am still trying to clean from the chaos it left. the sad thing was no knitting or reading hardly at all for almost the whole time & the fact that the meds they gave me made me sound drunk & I had some rather odd conversations with people that I felt the need to explain later. silly me. but I was loaned the first season of LOST which made me giggle & want to see the next few seasons as I laid in bed trying not to move my head. too many attractive people on that island for the real world, suspension of disbelief is required. Plot holes, who cares? entertaining & destressifying

Kids started up homeschooling, first few weeks after a break are always rough. but I've got high hopes for this year.

Atrox has a UTI. so antibiotics for kitty & much washing of laundry for mum. He manage to christen 1/2 the house before the vet visit. I feel bad, I have to keep shutting him up with the litter box so he will be in the right room to make it in time. I keep visiting him in there--he is so bored & tired of being shut up. but I need to wash regular laundry not all the blankets he keeps laying on.

I'm clearing out my book collection. a good friend (thank you, Valerie!) gave me rather a lot of books that she pared out of her own collection which forced me to go through my own to make room. I am giving up all books that I own in a good format ebook. I am giving up all books that I know I won't read again or at all in the case of some of the ones I got from a eBay purchase of 900 or so. The sad thing is how many thousands are still around the house & when you add in the ebooks--I bought 5 more the other day with a the push of a finger. But I have been selling them gangbusters on Amazon. I ended up buying about 350 bubble mailers for the purpose of my Amazon market place. & I set aside a bunch of strange ones mixed in with good ones going for a penny on Amazon for eBay lots.

then there is the virus-i-fied laptop crises (the anti-virus software from the megacorp ran out & we magically got a virus). we got so frustrated that we backuped as much as we remembered to & wiped it back to factory settings. now we have a dual boot Windows & Linux setup for my main computer. Nat's computer is totally Linux. hmm, one day we will be totally suborned by Linux--except for gaming. I wish the gaming community would get on board with Linux. it creeps up on you--first the OpenOffice stuff, then Mozilla Firefox, then it's Thunderbird & Telllico & Tomboy Notes (which I adore).

socks for Natalie

2007-08-24T00:03:00.000-07:00

So I found some killer socks for Natalie. & all my darling husband could say was "are you trying to make her into another Kira?" for those of you not knowing the Kira, I'm so sorry, your loss. here she is http://audacemfaciebatamor.blogspot.com/ To which I had to respond--"You like Kira so what's wrong with that?" no answer but laughter from himself.

check out the sockage:

2 knee highs

{need to take pix, to be posted later}

1 thigh high

{need to take pix to be posted later}

But I don't think I've ever seen Kira in such socks. That would involve short pants or skirts--& she was way too conscious of sunblock to ever see her in short pants at school. But they were very happyfying socks, very fun, very funky & they make you smile. which is very Kira.

things I did or forgot to share. (don't dye mommy, please)

2007-08-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

So my son is a smart@#%. He made bad dyeing puns until Sonja came over to help me dye. (But why do we have to dye? Dyeing is so messy. Can't we dye another day? But I don't want to dye.) (Thanks, Sonja!) I tried immersion/vat dyeing & dipdyeing. I have final pix on stuff & 2 action shots of dipdyeing in progress.

So Sonja helped me mix up the dye--all mistakes are mine, she made the funniest face when I dumped in the soda ash all at once instead of adding it gradually like the instructions said.

I threw some stuff in all at once. The Chinese red shirt for Rowan is the one that I messed up the soda ash on.

Oh, look. It's clothing & it's clean & just out of the dryer. How can you tell? there's a cat on it. This is a 2 tie jacket done in midnight blue.

& 2 kilt green long sleeve Ts, one for Charlie & one for Rowan.

Then I tried dipdyeing a shirt. Which turned out pretty good except for the spotch on the boob from where I stirred & splashed. Will know better next time. I enjoyed it. I really thought it would be darker. Sonja did too according to a post on our chat board. err, rant board. err, *ap parenting* board. Dyed in kilt green.

She dipdyed a tank top. No pix. Then when it came time to throw out the dye I couldn't do it. It was like pouring millions down the drain. So I grabbed other items waiting to be dyed & started tossing them in. A bit randomly. & this is what I got:

a minty colored 2 tie jacket for me dyed in the kilt green.

& some handkerchiefs to be used as napkins in a pink that were dyed in the leftover Chinese red.

{need to find the pix to be posted later}

Except this dress for Nat. It came out superlight & she wanted it dark. so we dipped the whole thing in a new bucket of midnight blue dye & left it dipdyeing for some hours like so.
I have to admit at one point we were paintin dye on the collar area with a paint brush prior to dipping the whole thing in the bucket. Then we got this when I finally took it out & washed it up:

{need to take a pic--to be posted later}
Finally what I forgot to share but am quite proud of:
This might look like only a bruise to you, but this represents a glorious bullseye at the RenFair the first weekend in August. I got 3 EXCELLENT shots in, & 10 more respectable ones for someone who shoots only once a year if that. There's obviously something wrong with my form, but dang, I was quite proud of those three center shots. All 3 of the shots that went center smacked my arm something awful. after that, my aim went south. I think my arm hurt or something. Can't imagine why. This is a few days later.

Notions on a theme--old stuff & back to basics.

2007-07-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

Last few weeks blah. I am so tired. I feel mostly good about volunteering at Cub Scout/Webelos Camps. The last day was rough. But at least I waved the flag by being there. And having some (maybe 1/2 dozen insanely, maybe 30 or so more moderately to mildly so) 9 & 10 year old boys be absolutely fascinated with my passion (Greco-Roman stuffage) & asking mad crazy questions about what I bored them with was awesome. Arts & crafts & learning, yeah. But it felt good to connect to those kids. They all loved looking through my books. Admittedly the one book they all like was the 100 facts about gladiators books, but hey, most of the kids liked all the books & having at least 1 book every kid looked through made me happy.

Just thinking--things I did today.

I cooked:

Banana Bread--from the Betty Crocker Cookbook--5 mini loaves--1 half gone, 1 in the fridge freezer, 3 in the deep freeze. For CharlieBoy the Schnauzer. For breakfast. I want to make up a lot of bread type things so he can have something warm homemade for breakfast when he is home. I will be making chocolate raspberry next. Traci & I made some once with raspberries from the yard & it was delicious. But not enough chocolate--because you can never have enough chocolate. So more chocolate. And I'm thinking apple bread too. Yummy. Nat & Tori made apple muffins one time & it was delicious, I think I can modify their fixings to quickbread pretty easily.

I tried to make pizza rolls, then the second batch I tried to make pizza sandwich pockets. Ugh, tasted yummy, looked disgusting. Think we'll try that again. I made up pizza dough from a package (wanted it to go quickly) then we rolled it out. It stuck like crazy & the bread part looked awful & the fillings oozed out but I rather liked the taste. Charlie helped me try to move the pockets the best he could but it really didn't work. He suggested that next time I roll out the dough & put it on the cookie sheet &amp;amp; put the filler on the dough & cover with a layer of dough & pinch the dough together around the filler. I want to do pepperoni pizza and ham & cheddar & maybe broccoli and chicken & broccoli. I'm kind of excited about the thought of figuring it all. But if I can get it to work we'll make up a bunch then freeze it up for snacks. Yum.

No knitting for weeks. I am jonesing for it, as soon as my mother-in-law gets here I can get to work on some poor projects that have been languishing in neglect.

Charlie & Natalie have gotten Nat's (new name courtesy my friend Valerie from playgroup, Stormy) new bed done. It looks awesome, her room looks like a much older kid's room. Wah! My baby girl is getting so big! {Of course the fact that she wears the same size bra as my mom is freaking me out as well. And she is taller than all of her grandmas & most of her aunts!}They did a great job.

We needed to do something about her room because it was getting unacceptable to the point of nasty. clothes everywhere but put up, crap on her desk, things getting broken because they weren't put up, dresser drawers over stuffed then broken, things shoved under her bed, losing things, never having a hairbrush & looking ratty & uncared for, things hanging on the back of her chair & making it fall over & break things, being late because she could never find anything, food trash & dishes when she isn't allowed to eat in her room. So we decided to try & make things work for her & us instead of fussing at her (because that was working really well & making us all so very happy).

We figured that putting her in a loft bed would make it easier to keep the underside of her bed from being a black hole for crap--at least we can see it. And she has at least twice the desk space so now she has a place for her ant farms & triops city & sea monkeys (we need to buy her some more). She has shelving for her manga with plenty of room to grow.

We took one of her little white shelves out & put a larger black one in so she had more room for books + room to grow again. Also we bought her a dresser with more room in it for her clothing so she could get everything in there instead of needing to hang some things up--which never happened & clean clothes just got thrown on the floor & mixed with dirty & rewashed without ever being worn or shoved in the dresser.
More book shelves full of her favorite series with room to grow. Her mirror has a clock in it to help her be more on time while getting ready--can I say I love IKEA? There is a place for her hairbrush on top of her jewelry box. All of which she can now reach & still see the mirror pretty well.
notice the cool chair from IKEA--no back so nothing to hang on the back & get her in trouble & the shape makes it less stacking friendly so she isn't stacking crap on it any more & pissing off her dad. We also bought both kids trash cans & dirty clothes storage. Let's hope even part of what we've done works.

We are purging like nuts, furniture posted on Craigslist. Books posted on playgroup website & 8 already gone, an entire box of books to get rid of from the personal library online. More to come book wise possibly--be impressed that there are any. We are going to sell them online as I look for a good bunch to do the whole online book selling thing.

Recycling went gangbusters today:
The beer bottles are partially from a party a couple of weeks ago & 2 weeks of Charlie + some others drinking. We are going to offer them to a friend who homebrews some really tasty beer. I'm just glad it's a little more organized than it was.

So I didn't get the ebay bid.

2007-07-03T23:11:00.000-07:00

But I don't mind. I felt like myself for the first time in such a very long time. Why, you say? Once upon a time, I took risks. It wasn't just impulse control issues. I saw something, evaluated the situation & did what I wanted. No regrets. Then I started not taking so many risks & the next thing I knew. Bang, impulse control, what's that? Big red button. Push it quick! See what happens. Regrets galore.

I feel like I can breathe again. Everything until very recently has been stifling & smothering & I felt like I couldn't breathe. But now I can.

Not that it was what fixed me, but it was the first humongous sign that things were getting better. There were other clues. But this was a definite sign. From me, not from on high.

So, yeah me.

My beautiful earth mama in training

2007-07-03T22:11:00.000-07:00

So my friend Stephanie from playgroup took the most amazing picture of my daughter, Nat. It shows her in her element. I think they are examining a caterpillar. She loves to go to playgroup & spend time with her "tribe." Being with the kiddos empowers her & gives her more confidence than I would have ever thought. When she is being negative, I can say to her: "Don't you think you are good at relating to your tribe & playing with them?" She answers "yeah, I'm pretty good with them." more often than not. She has been having confidence issues for a while now. I'm glad there is something so positive that she can say, "yeah, I'm good at that." The only thing as good as a baby in my arms is watching my daughter with one in hers. But I am so relieved that she is so not ready for one of her own. That would freak me out.

best knitting project ever

2007-07-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

This is the best knitting project I have ever seen. Not because it is technically perfect. But because it makes me all weepy & proud. This is Nat's first Finished project (pre sewing the tail). It is a WarmUp America Square. It is so beautiful. Go, baby girl! Your mother couldn't be prouder!!!!!!!!!!

craftomatic 5000

2007-07-03T21:04:00.001-07:00

Today is for the posting of the projects per Kira's request (this one's for you girl).

Gwen's peace dragon dress. My first stranding multicolor big project. I had to take two patterns to figure out the dress part too--I am so proud. Yeah me. I had a blast thinking this one out. I love the fact that I am now understanding what I am doing enough to look at a pattern & morph it.

Then there is the balaclava helmet I knitted up for himself as a father's day gift out of peace fleece wool. Yeah, hippie art!!!!!!! Woohoo. Peace Fleece is made from a blend of Russian, Romanian, American, Israeli and Palestinian wools. Way cool. The only thing better than this picture to the right of me is this next one below.

This is why I love my kids being mine. In a nutshell. They can't pose for a simple picture without getting creative. We had to take a half a dozen pix to get it figured out. S'okay. Time spent with my little man isn't a waste. Even if I was supposed to be cleaning when I took the pix.

I will have to post some old pix with comments another day. Because I am still supposed to be cleaning.

Robeez

2007-06-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hey! why don't they make robeez for adults? dang it. my feet could use some protective yet freedomifying shoes. dang it. check these things out.

http://www.whatshebuys.com/for-child-walking-robeez.html

I thought about posting a link to the images individually but looking at them individually would take too long. And the ones that make me sing might make you barf & vice versa.

Be brave.

2007-06-26T05:39:00.000-07:00

{Reposted from a topic at playgroup website}

Okay, here's the thing. At one point, I was doing the online used book selling thing (just about 2 years ago). I really got a kick out of it--there was something fun about mailing off the books (I'm sure if I increased my volume it would become less fun), having the books around even if I never touched them. But I didn't have a huge inventory so I didn't make a lot of $--definately a volume thing. Charlie & I have talked about it off & on now for those past 2 years or so. We've been looking at wholesale ebay lots. We've talked about me trying to apply for a small business grant (not loan) & going whole hog with a home business. Basically not expecting huge amounts of $ but maybe enough to pay 1 or 2 bills a month or save some $, once I paid off initial outlay.

I just emailed this person who is auctioning off 20,700 books in OR (close enough to rent a uhaul & pick up in person basically) about his/her inventory. I guess he/she had a brickfront store & is going out of business. I wouldn't have time for applying for a small business grant. But I can pay for the inventory out of our savings unless the price goes up too much. And there's enough room in my crap room (craft room) & rec room for all the books. And we've got a pretty good library database on one of our computers for tracking the books seperately from our personal books. But I could start applying for a small business grant after I got it & pay some fees & get more inventory & a separate cheap computer & printer & quick books & a scanner & shipping supplies, etc. etc. etc.

I've woke up off & on for most of the night thinking about things. Part of me wants to say whether or not I get this auction (I haven't even bid yet, 3 days left), I should start looking more aggressively for an inventory; especially a large one. But part of me is so nervy about taking a chance. But looking around at some of you lot at playgroup with online stores makes me want to take a chance. I know some of you aren't going mad with the sales yet but you're doing sales at all! I guess I thought starting up a online store even like Sonja's it would take months to even get just a few sales from non friends at all. Because I thought no matter how good you are at what you do, sales would just take forever to even start, I was shocked that she had people other than playgroup people buying off of her. I actually really, really like her product & I thought that way (that sounds awful but I hope you know what I mean). And my inventory would be listed on all ready set up well known sites--Amazon used book sellers, ebay, that sort of thing. So I wouldn't have to worry about needing to get known or anything or having to make enough product to be able to post pictures of things online or even set up a website at all initially.

can y'all tell looking at Sonja's website is sort of inspiring me? even more than the rest of the people I know doing business, & I'm not even sure if she is turning a profit yet! (Not asking, Sonja!). It was an off hand comment at playgroup about some woman special ordering ugly colors. And knowing I'm thinking about buying Nat a skirt from her for Christmas unless Sonja gets tired of it by then. And listening to converstions about web hosting & such. And thinking, hey! I could administer a website--I have a goto guy at my house at least 75 hours a week 3 months at a time. And my BIL is a 'puter geek, too for oncrew times.

So tell me to be brave. And take a chance.

Trying something new.

2007-06-06T10:25:00.000-07:00

So don't like the blog thingie on MySpace so let's see if I like this better.

If I can just figure things out, I will probably babble here instead. Not much to say now should have pix tonight & tomorrow from Seattle trips.